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Ask Men 5w
how do i get male friendships? i’m a trans man (ftm) and all my relationships are with women. can cis men help?
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29
upvote 20 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

Imma be real: most normal men will be friendly with you, but prob not want to actually be friends beyond that and keep some distance; it’s just too different to navigate. You could prob make some gay/queer guy friends though

upvote 23 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Literally just say hi to some dude and have a common hobby and boom you’re friends now

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

One of my best friends is a trans guy. So I guess get paired with the straight goofball adhd ally guy as a lab partner, and then water him and give him sunshine and he’ll be your friend in no time

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Idk

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Unfortunately, like someone else said, I think it’ll be moderately hard. It’ll probably require at least a small degree of code switching. I’m not trying to say don’t be yourself though. I guess just, be mindful of what you put forward first? Idrk. On that note though, another thing would be to try and only befriend the people you think will be open to it. As in, I think some guys are just assholes and won’t be receptive to it inherently because ur trans, so just don’t waste time w them.

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

What are you hobbies/interests

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

As a straight guy, it’s definitely not gonna be easy. Just try to find dude with similar interests 🤷‍♂️

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Imma keep it completely real, many straight men will not see you as a true man or “one of the boys” if that’s what you’re looking for. Some might, but not all. As for making friends with them, idk (I struggle making friends myself), just talk to people and hopefully it works out

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

Probably not, it's really just an intuition thing

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

I also have mostly women friends

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

U just need to lower ur standard for what a friend is. Talking once a month can still be friends

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 5w

i like the gym, video games, i play the guitar, i like to bake and cook.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

My question for u, what do u define as a friend

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

someone to talk to. doesn’t have to be all the time or anything, just someone i know is in my corner. someone i can be myself with. i feel like im missing out not have guy friends

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

Go to hobby/game shops and card shops, find guys with similar interests and talk about that stuff, see what games yall got in common

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

Hmm I think the second part is the easiest, first and third are very hard

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

Idk about this, I talk to most of my friends at least once a day whether it be just sending a funny video or playing a game together or chatting while playing separate games

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 5w

I find men to be very hard to put any effort into friendships unfortunately

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 5w

thanks!

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

If ur in college, hobby clubs are a good way to start

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

thank you!

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 5w

thanks

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 5w

i’ll keep this in mind, thank you

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

Ofc 🫶

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 5w

Ig I just got lucky

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 5w

i know i won’t fit into “one of the boys” i made my peace with that awhile ago, just a normal friendship is what i want

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

Ofc. Male friendships are easier than you may think. However, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, you may have some difficulties finding people who may want to be your friend. Where I am in the south, the LGBTQIA+ community and its supporters are relatively scarce, so depending where you’re located it may be easier or more difficult to make male friendships

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #7 5w

thank you i’ll keep that in mind

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #8 4w

I have done investigative journalism and this is what that friend as someone who “has lately” been making cis friends but doesn’t usually (paraphrased): - make sure they are left leaning so you know they see you as human - “Then it’s like ok do you play fun video games and I’m not talking like COD or Overwatch like does this guy fuck with the sims“ - watch for weirdos and red flags, if they make weird jokes get out, some people wanna hit.

upvote 4 downvote