Ask Men on Sidechat | like there r certainly a lot of men who r predators but what i never hear people talking abt is there is an equal amount of women who are too. its just easier for them to get away with it. do you agree?

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Ask Men 8w

like there r certainly a lot of men who r predators but what i never hear people talking abt is there is an equal amount of women who are too. its just easier for them to get away with it. do you agree?

Anonymous 8w

it's so common with high school teachers. at my high school a young teacher got fired bc she was having an affair with a male student in my grade. i just feel like predatory behavior is so overlooked with women, and i wanna know if this is something men have known abt it and women just don't believe them.

Anonymous 8w

I guess it’s hard it quantify but I would say there are more women who get away with SA due to stigmas and societal standards

Anonymous 8w

I was raped by my ex girlfriend during our relationship several times. I tried to do something about it after we broke up, but even with evidence and witnesses, nobody took me seriously. When she heard I told some people about it, she went around contacting all my friends telling them I raped her and that I’m a horrible person they shouldn’t be friends with. I stopped talking about it to anyone knowing she could ruin my life if she wanted to. But that doesn’t mean most women are like that.

Anonymous 8w

especially bc like we already don't take male sexual violence victims seriously, it's like such an issue and i feel like no one is talking abt it or is rightfully angry enough 😭another example i can think of is toxic boy moms, who are basically having an affair with their sons!! i obviously understand men can be dangerous but so can women!!

Anonymous 8w

Definitely it’s a lot easier for a woman to get away with it because of social stigmas

Anonymous 8w

Because there’s not an equal amount of male to female predators

Anonymous 8w

The men/boys being predatorized (idk if that’s a word) are usually way more likely to either enjoy it or keep it to themselves. Women have been told constantly being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to them (and rightfully so) but men haven’t

Anonymous

#1 8w

I will say tho, as a man who has been physically harassed sexually multiple times, women often face more “”violent”” cases of SA (I am not excusing anything I am just saying there are more unique safety challenges)

Anonymous

#2 8w

I’m not saying I totally agree with you OP but in my experience it is easier to get away with it as a woman, but I don’t think there’s as many female predators as there are male, since ive seen it from both sides. But I do think it’s important to recognize when we let certain people do certain things without consequences because of our biases and more people need to believe victims, regardless of their gender. I just don’t hold any resentment towards women for it bc she did it bc she chose to.

Anonymous

#2 8w

And not because she’s a woman and knew she could get away with it, but because she’s evil and decided to do something evil, regardless of gender.

Anonymous

#1 8w

i would also agree with that, but sometimes male predators go for male victims, and those cases can become pretty violent. i also think even if a case isn't violent it shouldn't be less important bc it would still be traumatic.

Anonymous

#2 8w

i think it's more so predatory behavior in women often goes unchecked/overlooked, like with the toxic boy mom thing. it's normal for a mom to be close with her son yes, what isn't normal is relying on that relationship to fulfill your romantic-emotional needs. a mom shouldn't feel jealous that her son is dating someone and shouldn't say things like "i wanted a man, and was given a son" etc.

Anonymous

OP 8w

I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about with the “boy mom” thing but I feel like we’re talking about two very different issues

Anonymous

OP 8w

i think that dynamic can cause the son to have a warped view of women as a whole. young men / boys need a women role model in their lives that doesn't cross any romantic boundaries. it's also why women should really be in a stable place before they have kids.

Anonymous

OP 8w

idk about all that but go off I guess

Anonymous

#4 8w

that's another thing like it takes male victims especially if they were children well into adulthood to even realize sometimes they were victims. im not sure why like an inappropriate relationship like a teacher x student would be enjoyable for anyone

Anonymous

#5 8w

i think there is. Just predatory behavior is overlooked in women and male victims can be socially conditioned to "enjoy" it and/or not realize they are victims.

Anonymous 8w

I see what you're saying but my argument is that there are so many things in life where women are just vastly underreported and/or researched. I mean neurological disorders like autism and adhd were once believed to only affect men, and still to this day it's a lot harder for a neurodivergent women to receive a diagnosis than it is for a man. I don't see why things like predatory behavior would be any different. Especially bc like they can go hand in hand with neurological conditions

Anonymous 8w

and i also think because of social stigma lot of men might live there entire lives as victims bc they don't even realize they are one, or they have all this trauma and no clue why bc they were either groomed or abused or SA'd at the hands of a women. Remember men account for 90-99% of REPORTED sexual offenses. Im not sure of the statistics but im pretty sure men are less likey to report sexual crimes even if it happened to them by another man.

Anonymous 8w

and this also isn't to say that men aren't capable of being predatory like obviously yes they are, but i feel like if we only focus on predatory men bc women are less likey/harder to weed out, then it doesn't help anyone.

Anonymous

mrunknown 8w

and that's a problem!! why is that normal!!

Anonymous

OP 8w

Yeah it happened in my highschool 2 lady teachers who had slept with students were asked to leave the school they weren’t fired charges didn’t get pressed but a teacher who tried to get free nudes from a former student who was on OF got fired and a criminal case

Anonymous

OP 8w

You can search up studies on this stuff, just take a look at sentencing trends between convicted male and female pedophiles.