Ask Men on Sidechat | My boyfriend of a month and I were talking about our relationship in the future and he said, “well you never know what will happen in 4 years.” And I asked him if he sees me in 4 years and he said no one knows what will happen. Should I be worried???

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Ask Men 1w

My boyfriend of a month and I were talking about our relationship in the future and he said, “well you never know what will happen in 4 years.” And I asked him if he sees me in 4 years and he said no one knows what will happen. Should I be worried???

Anonymous 1w

He’s honest. 4 years is a long ass time to think about if you’ve been dating a month. He’s a good dude who doesn’t want to lie to you. Keep him.

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Anonymous 1w

I mean… it’s been one month. Y’all hardly know each other

Anonymous 1w

my gf said this exact same thing to me too, and it doesn't mean anything bad. it just means that you can't make promises, because so much can happen in 4 years. it doesn't mean he's planning to abandon you one day, he's just being realistic, because life happens, and sometimes people move away, become different, grow apart, or just find that they're incompatible. you can't make big promises like that yet when you haven't been with someone long enough to be absolutely sure about them

Anonymous 1w

Bro it’s been a singular month

Anonymous 1w

Not sure. Just keep communicating. Every relationship is different. Could be that things are settling, could be thats hes nervous, etc. Ive noticed when talking to my boyfriend i have to give options as to whats going on cause when he says he doesnt know, he actually doesnt know. communicate that its made the relationship feel less secure and less room for misinterpretation

Anonymous 1w

my ex did the same thing to me. tbh i felt like he didn’t want long term from the beginning. 2.5 years into it we had a huge fight and just bandied the relationship till we both mentally broke and went numb at 5 years. now i’m with someone who actually brings me joy

Anonymous

#1 1w

When we first started dating he called me his wife and love bombed me. I feel like he’s switching up on me.

Anonymous

OP 1w

Jesus

Anonymous

#1 1w

Is that bad

Anonymous

OP 1w

No. Calling anyone a wife right off the bat ain’t normal. Ain’t bad but ain’t normal.

Anonymous

#1 1w

I agree. I don’t even know if he’ll be my husband because I barely know him.

Anonymous

OP 1w

He said I love you first, and when he said it the look on his face was so sincere. Like he would die if he didn’t tell me

⚒️

Anonymous

OP 1w

He might have gotten over excited about the relationship so was quickly lovey dovey, but when actually talking about the near ish future he’s actually thinking about the future rather than just emotions. Love bombing is inherently manipulative and ill intentioned, not just when someone is really affectionate and steps back.

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Anonymous

OP 1w

Like to be clear, love bombing isn’t a fast burning candle (as in lots of love but fizzles out quickly) but showing lots of love then becoming mean or passive aggressive

Anonymous

mother_russia 1w

So he isn’t lovebombing?

⚒️

Anonymous

OP 1w

Is he being mean/rude to you unlike before? Like a bait and switch type deal?

Anonymous

mother_russia 1w

⚒️

Anonymous

OP 1w

Then you’re good! It sounds like he likes you but understands life happens so you might not stay together.

Anonymous

OP 1w

Leave him, coming from a girl, I know the type. They love bomb and then slowly stop caring until you seem crazy asking for attention. Prolly just using you for sex. Don’t let this hold you back tho. There will be someone out there who will truly love you. Just be patient.

-4

Anonymous

#7 1w

We barely have sex

Anonymous

#6 1w

Awww I’m happy for you

Anonymous

#7 1w

this is so negative wtf 😭😭