Anonymous antarticcat 1w

That’s what I got told when I was with a more experienced guy, he said we were “ in a quite literal sense incompatible”

15

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

Which I think is bullshit to be honest because you can gain more experience

7

They use you for your body and then they get mad when you don’t have enough experience

5

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

I don’t recommend hooking up with anybody unless they’re committed honestly

3

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

I learned that lesson the hard way

2

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

It just leaves you feeling objectified and used for your body

2

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

Also, he told me we were gonna go on a hike the next day, but once he got what he wanted, he was like no

3

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

Well, technically, I don’t even think it comes to the hook up because we had like a relationship for like a year

4

Anonymous antarticcat 1w

But still

6

Anonymous inphochewated 1w

Should be avoided imo. The idea of being seen as less than for simply having sex doesn’t bode well for a key principle in a relationship. And there’s people like 1. “Less trauma.” Mayhaps 1 has met many people with high body counts and trauma, coming to the conclusion that it is proportional. While I could see why one would think more relationships/bodies could lead to a greater risk of one experiencing traumatic, to see it as DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL is kinda mad. Ima leave my half-baked

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Anonymous inphochewated 1w

Reply above as a reminder to remember the damn question and THINK before I tap my fingers TLDR: Virginity is a construct that doesn’t make you more suitable to be a wife than others. Its other traits dumbasses conflate with virginity. B12 is a hell of a drug and my brain is a hell of a tool. Ima use it more.

4

Anonymous #3 1w

The fuck? No it’s cause most of us are Christian and saving till marriage shows that they are a good Christian women who is solid in her faith.

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Anonymous #13 1w

Big assumption there given that this is ask men and not the Christianity community. Historically large numbers of young people do not believe in this today

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Anonymous #3 1w

68% of adults in the south identify as Christian, you are the minority.

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Anonymous #13 1w

We are talking about all of the USA and not just the south. Also being Christian doesn’t mean that you are actually waiting until marriage. The rates for actually waiting until marriage are super low like 5% or lower

9

Anonymous #13 1w

Like even with just Christian’s it’s not that common. This is a study from 2020

4

Anonymous #13 1w

Even if I were a minority here idgaf, don’t be assuming your religious customs can be applied to everyone

8

Anonymous #13 1w

Christians typically don't swear either but low and behold...

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Anonymous antarticcat 4d

We might get back together possibly I think

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Interesting! Was this based on a self report for just men or just women or both partners? (Like if one partner had 5 previous partners and got with someone who only had one)

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Anonymous stanczyk 4d

how old is this study? also what other factors go into it? it's interesting you make a graph on something that is arguably a made up concept.

2

Anonymous mother_russia 4d

it's per person, so each divorce is counted twice with each of the individuals involved number lifetime sexual partners acting as one data point

2

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

also here is another reason

1

Anonymous mother_russia 4d

also also this is not exclusively for hetero couples as sexual orientation is not measured as a factor here.

1

Anonymous #12 4d

Google the study if you want the details of the methodology

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

I’m just trying to get back with my mans Idgaf I don’t even know what his body count is nor do I care I know higher than mine

4

Anonymous antarticcat 4d

Because I really want him back lol

4

Anonymous antarticcat 4d

this is ask men aqua, no one asked you

4

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

I did! It's from 2002-2013. So 12 years ago. The institution of family studies is a very right leaning & biased. They also have "research" that supports that women are happier being married and with kids. Research is helpful and everything but when it comes to things subjective like causes for divorce, and women's happiness/well-being you wanna be as neutral as possible. Since those things very per couple and per women. Do you have any sources that aren't biased and more recent?

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Anonymous #12 4d

vary^*

3

Anonymous #12 4d

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10989935/ Here you go, if you want you can look for a study that shows that marriage quality and stability increases with lifetime sexual partners but i haven't been able to

1

Anonymous #12 4d

here is a part of this study if you are interested

4

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Interesting! I’ll have to look these up! Thank you!

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Anonymous stanczyk 4d

That makes that you can't find any because I don't think lifetime sexual partners affects marriage stability. If it does then that means you are just giving into the stereotypes of being a virgin or having a high body count. When really, the amount of sex you've had doesn't change who are you, the parts that your supposed partner will fall in love with.

1

Anonymous #12 4d

that makes sense*

1

Anonymous #12 4d

Find a study that proves me wrong or quit with the nonsense. The idea that one's experiences and choices in their past has no bearing on who they are is simply delusional.

0

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Except it isn't? It's concerning that you believe that? What if someone was an addict in the past, and went through sobriety and now is living a healthy life? What if someone was closeted and oppressed who they are but are now living their truth?? What if someone failed at something but tried again and was successful?? Your past shouldn't define who you are now, and who you will be in the future. If everyone held onto the past then the world would never move forward. 1/2

5

Anonymous #12 4d

Nonsense like body count doesn't change how a person would love, nor does it mean they are more likey to cheat. People get divorced for multiple reasons and it's delusional to me to base your argument on a 12 year old graph from an inherently biased research team.

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Anonymous #12 4d

it’s been consistently shown that body count is a strong predictor of infidelity, unfortunately.

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Anonymous #6 4d

Lame ass comment booo

9

Anonymous #12 4d

It's not nonsense to say people with extensive sexual histories are more likely to cheat, it's a statically proven fact of reality. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3407304/

-3

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

It’s not that deep little bro

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Anonymous antarticcat 4d

Don’t you have better things to talk about?

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Anonymous stanczyk 4d

There are other factors which could contribute to both of these simultaneously, though. For example, religious women tend to date to marry, and some don’t believe in divorce.

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Anonymous #12 4d

There are dozens and dozens of studies on this that prove me right, i am just asking if you can find real evidence via statistical survey that shows more sexual partners improves future relationships

-1

Anonymous #7 4d

They do, in fact in cheating general relationship dissatisfaction is the strongest predictor, but that doesn't mean one's past sexual history has no bearing on their future behavior

-1

Anonymous #12 4d

Green: If you cannot grapple with the idea that one's experiences affects who they are or how they act i truely can't help you Yellow: Good for them, but the scars from abuse never go away completely as any recovered addict can attest to. Red: Overcoming adversity affects people positively through discipline Violet: "Shouldn't" is a prescriptive term about how you wish things were, unfortunately obserable and measurable reality disagrees with this. Blue: forgetting it is also stupid

-1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

I never claimed that more sexual partners improves future relationships, because sexual history is of little importance when it comes to improving a relationship, bc it's history! it's in the past! having multiple sexual partners before marriage doesn't mean that they are going to cheat. someone in their late 30s could very easily have 10+ bodies if they been dating since they were 18, and have had sex with everyone they've been in a relationship with. I feel like if what you're worried 1/2

6

Anonymous #12 4d

Cyan: Nonsense or not, it does clearly have some affect or common cause to how one loves Green: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22524318/ but it does Yellow: never said they didn't, there's even a few stronger predictors of divorce than body count but they are not things as easily communicated between potential partners before a relationship Red: I have provided multiple sources from as recent as 2023 all affirming my assertions, you are just intentionally ignoring them to strawman my evidence.

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Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Bro please just shut the fuck up 😭😭😭

3

Anonymous #12 4d

about is cheating then your issues are more along the lines of lack of trust, bc you can cheat emotionally not just sexually

4

Anonymous #12 4d

First, you could also just find a study that shows there is no correlation where i say and have shown there is one. Second, having a high body count doesn't necessarily mean you *will* cheat or divorce or be unhappy in the relationship, it just massively increases the *likelihood* of all 3. So yes a 30 something y/o woman with 10+ bodies can find a god relationship, but it is WAY less likely than a virgin.

0

Anonymous #7 4d

prove me wrong and i will

0

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

I easily could, every message of yours that I’ve ACTUALLY read has been painfully flawed, but I’m not scrolling all the way through this

2

Anonymous #7 4d

ok but i am just assuming it's because you can't

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

There’s too many external factors that are impossible to consider without a population of over 10,000 to be able to definitively say ANYTHING about the correlation.

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

How does body count "cleary" affect the way someone loves?? like explain that to me?? also divorce isn't always something you can predict, i speak from experience. as i can understand why you would communicate your sexual history for safety purposes but aside from that imo it has no bearing on the relationship between you and ur partner, and experience wise it's all abt preferences. if you want a virgin bc you are also a virgin and don't want someone more experienced that's fine but to say 1/2

6

Anonymous #7 4d

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10989935/ this study has a population of +20,000

1

Anonymous #12 4d

it's because a virgin is less likey to cheat is just delusional in my opinion, both of my parents were virgins when they got married and low and behold my dad still cheated on my mom, and i know stories like that aren't a minority.... at the age we r now it's more likey to find someone who is a virgin but as we get older it's simply gonna be less likey. its rare someone is still a virgin into their late 30s, and it be really weird if men that age still have that expectation

1

Anonymous #12 4d

I never said there are not exceptions, just that it was a single factor of many, quit putting words in my mouth

0

Anonymous #12 4d

This is all a matter of risk assessment and it is a fact that people with sexual histories are higher risk partners.

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

the question is literally why do so many men view virgins as "wifey material" which in case u didn't understand what that means it's a requirement for them when they r looking for a wife, so an expectation. your responded to the question and clearly have done extensive research on the topic, so i assumed you hold this expectation as well

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

oh my bad i mis read what you said, ignore my response

1

Anonymous #12 4d

Wifey Material i have only ever heard used to describe women who are good candidates as POTENTIAL lifelong partners, and i provided the reason why (most) men find virgins better candidates to be lifelong partners with. Personally i'm a virgin who would prefer to date another virgin no matter what statistics say.

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Okay good for you!! I hope that works out for you, but just because you are a virgin and you date a virgin doesn't mean your marriage will be perfect. Sexual compatibility between a husband and wife is important to a marriage, and it's understandable you would want someone with the same amount of experience as you but as i have been saying this whole time virginity as a whole is a social construct. Nothing changes after you've had sex. Cheating is something that reflects of their character.

6

Anonymous #12 4d

Cyan: You are right, but i'm not looking for perfect, just a relationship that is likely to last and be fulfilling Purple: I personally don't think so when it comes to MY relationships but see how others can disagree Red: Yes, Categorization of any kind is a human invention, but construct or not it still has value to predict what events are more likely than others in the future. Yellow: You just didn't notice it, you are constantly changing and evolving due to your experience now and forever.

1

Anonymous #12 4d

also what exactly did you mis-read?

0

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

i thought u said expectation not exceptions

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

Sexual compatibility is important in all relationships. If you're saying you're asexual though ergo there is an absence of sexual attraction, then yes i can see why it's not of importance to you but still i would say that sexual compatibility or the absence of it is important. I also would say it's more likey a reason why someone would cheat is bc of a difference in libido. Virgins can have high sex drives even if they choose to not act on it.

3

Anonymous #12 4d

Ok, so are we on the same page now? Do you see what i've been trying to say this whole time.

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

i mean i've known what you've been saying this whole time, i just don't believe that statistics can accurately depict human behavior without being a little biased and you can never accurately predict a divorce or break up, unless you're self sabotaging. plus since you're asexual that kinda brings a whole other perspective to the discussion since majority of people aren't and prefer people who who aren't, but live ur truth and hope u find someone else who is compatible with u.

2

Anonymous #12 4d

i'll take it

1

Anonymous stanczyk 4d

I feel like people are gonna choose wifey/husband material based on their experience and compatibility and interest most adults are not virgins tbh so most adults don’t look specifically for virgins specifically a lot of people are open to virgins though like I wouldn’t deny a guy if he was a virgin, but it would be nice if he had some experience like my mans

1