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Ask Men 47w
Do you think it's harder for women of color to date than it is for men? Since women of color aren't the beauty standard and also aren't desired unless they are fetishized.
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30
upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

In my experience, yeah? (Mixed/black). I’ve heard guys say they’re intimated bc they don’t think a black girl would like them 🤷🏽‍♀️ so lots of staring but not really coming up to me

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

Being wanted for the wrong reasons is not ideal, but it beats just not being wanted

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

It might be harder than other women that fit the typical beauty standard but I would highly doubt it’s more difficult than men

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

Yes. As a black man who goes to a PWI it’s already hard for me but the women go through worse💀

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

Yes a lot of people from the group with out melanin only fw people of color when they fetishize the skin tone or the stereotypes that come with that race

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 47w

I feel like maybe for men of color. I think women of color are often as unseen or undesired, and overlooked.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 47w

I personally don't think it does

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 47w

No I think men in general. Most men are unseen or undesired, and overlooked by default

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

Calling someone type a fetissh is some zoomer twitter cancel culture shit

upvote -2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 47w

I’m black and white folk have tried to get with me cuz the fetishized the stereotypical black man and I know it happens to woman cuz same thing happened to my sister and cousin it ain’t cancel culture im jus callin it how it is

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

Yeah, same. Sometimes I wonder if guys want to get with me bc they haven’t been with someone black before. We don’t know if we’re just a fetish to them

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 47w

Has anyone ever told you that you are undateable though? i've been told to my face that i'm not dateable/i'm not attractive bc i'm black.

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

There a difference between a fetish and a type though

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 47w

Yeah. But I don’t know that

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 47w

But it’s a fine line and often times they on the fetish side

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 47w

Yeah it pisses me off

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

Yes! Whole time they just want me in bed bc black girls are “freakier” . I want to be seen as myself not my race

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 47w

This

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 47w

Some white women only try to get with me cuz they think all black men are hung or they wanna know what it’s like getting shot at or something like I’m my own person different than everybody else

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 47w

I don’t think you realize that being called unattractive is pretty normal experience for a lot of men. Welcome to the club

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 47w

i just feel like there is a difference between the two tho, since when ppl say it too me it's bc of their racism.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

Yeah but people just be calling everything a fetish now I'm not saying it doesn't exist

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 47w

The term Fetish is thrown around a lot but there are folk out here who fetishizes being with black folk

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 47w

I personally don’t think you’ve spent the majority of your life unwanted

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 47w

i haven't even had my first kiss and i'm 22.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 47w

Yea but it happens to everyone where they will just be used for sex and not a relationship

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 47w

Except they’re not with us for sex or a relationship they’re with us because we’re black

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous 47w

It does not happen to everyone just minorities primarily black folk and you can’t tell until it’s too late

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🦧
Anonymous replying to -> freestyle 47w

This is real. I think it all depends on the demographics of where you’re trying to date. Like it’s prob gonna be easier dating at 5’6 in the Philippines than the Netherlands

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Anonymous replying to -> freestyle 47w

Omg thank you for acknowledging this. I’m a black girl but I feel like even black guys have a better time (although still difficult) than I do at my PWI. And I don’t even think I’m ugly. I’m just not the general preference

upvote 3 downvote