Anonymous #1 9w

I get what ur saying, but I think part of the reason why I struggle is that it feels different for men and women. In one of my college anthropology classes we talked about how men tend to place more importance on physical cues associated with youth and fertility like neonatal features like a small nose and big eyes. Ever since I’ve had this fear that if you don’t naturally have those features, like I have a bigger nose, that’s just inherently less attractive regardless of personality.

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Anonymous freestyle 9w

This is cute

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Anonymous OP 9w

The same thing goes for both genders. Women tend to focus on cues that signal youthfulness, virility, and physicality like height, muscle mass, and even shoulder width. If you can learn to be ok dating someone who lacks in a certain quality they can be ok dating you

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Anonymous #1 9w

That’s fair, and maybe my class just focused more on male preferences, so that’s what stuck with me. I think why it affects me so much is that some of the traits men are said to prefer like certain facial features aren’t things I can change naturally. So even if I know there are individual differences, it’s hard not to worry that I’m starting at a disadvantage.

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Anonymous OP 9w

Most people don’t put that much effort into their appearance. If you work hard and feel comfortable in the body you’re in you can still be considered attractive. Also lots of men are insecure about things they can’t control so you at least have common ground there. I bet there are a lot of guys you’ve found attractive that didn’t quite fit the male beauty standard.

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Anonymous #1 9w

Yeah there’s tons. But I feel like that’s different because I’m a girl so it makes sense that would happen

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Anonymous OP 9w

Boys are not as scary as you think, if you got inside our head you’d see we have the same insecurities as women and the same capacity to appreciate others. I regularly see tons of girls who I find attractive and they often don’t look alike

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Anonymous #1 9w

I just feel like guys can be so cruel and have been so cruel to me for my facial features. It’s just hard for me to believe a guy can genuinely find me pretty when I consciously know what the beauty standard are

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Anonymous OP 9w

When someone is cruel to you that says more about them than you. If you were really unnatractive guys wouldn’t even pay attention to you

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Anonymous freestyle 9w

Jojo’s reference

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Anonymous #1 9w

They don’t usually lol

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Anonymous OP 9w

Just try your best to talk to more men and get comfortable. It’s gonna suck for a bit but if you want to have a bf it’s what you need to do. Don’t fear rejection, it’s just new information

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Anonymous #1 9w

I just don’t know if a nose job would be worth it

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Anonymous OP 9w

Don’t, it’ll take away your uniqueness and besides why would you want to be with someone who wouldn’t date you cause of your nose, they’d be shallow in other ways too

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Anonymous #4 9w

Idk maybe he’s just a regular guy who doesn’t prefer big noses

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Anonymous OP 9w

Dating becomes much easier when you are truly able to accept your flaws. Everyone had deficiencies and defects, but you can still find love

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Anonymous #3 9w

Ykb

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Anonymous OP 9w

Weird way to propose but aight

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Anonymous #5 9w

I hope it is true because sometimes it feels so real with guys :( I’m really tempted to get a nose job because I feel my nose makes me so unattractive to guys

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Anonymous OP 9w

I think it’s unhealthy to give so much power to one trait you have. I think you might be using your nose to explain why you’re unhappy with your dating life and it’s comforting to think there’s one easy thing to fix but it’s also making you needlessly upset

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Anonymous #1 9w

I just feel like if I looked a different way and I was prettier guys wouldn’t be treating me the way they do. Like they’d view me as more valuable yk?

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Anonymous OP 9w

What treatment do you think you’re receiving. How does it compare to other girls’ experiences ? Is nose shape the defining variable ?

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Anonymous #1 9w

Like they’re treating me like I’m not valuable or pretty enough for commitment and only a talking stage/hookup. I feel like if I was prettier and had more conventional beautify traits like a button nose they’d view me as someone they’d be willing to commit to

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Anonymous OP 9w

I bet you know pretty girls who have prob cried over a man that treated them like shit. It might be the men, not your looks, that are more responsible

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Anonymous #1 9w

Idk even those girls have probably had boyfriends before and had guys willing to commit to them

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Anonymous OP 9w

Having or not having a partner before doesn’t determine your worth. I had a gf before but it didn’t make me feel better about myself in the long run or fix my insecurities

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Anonymous #1 9w

It does show that guys view you as worth committing to and you’re attractive enough to have that imo

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Anonymous OP 9w

Everyone worries if they are gonna find the one. Just because you’re 20 or whatever and haven’t found a bf, doesn’t mean you’re uniquely defective or will never have a bf

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Anonymous #1 9w

Lowkey I kinda am unless I get my nose fixed ngl

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Anonymous OP 9w

That’s a belief you have about yourself not a fact about the universe. Do you really think every woman with a bf looks better than you

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Anonymous #1 9w

Honestly I’m starting to view it that way. Like they just have something that I don’t

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Anonymous OP 9w

I used to say the same thing when I never had a gf, but there’s no secret thing you’re missing, it just takes time and luck

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Anonymous #1 9w

Wouldn’t a smaller nose give me more luck?

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Anonymous OP 9w

I would be luckier too if I was a foot taller, but I think the luck you win by becoming more “attractive” pales in comparison to the luck you get by taking more risks dating and being more confident.

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Anonymous #6 9w

guys seem to care about it more than you think. Think about it. “Mid” “baddie” “looksmaxing” “mogging” is trending with guys

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Anonymous OP 9w

Half of those are used by men to put down other men. The people who obsess over these terms are projecting their own insecurities

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Anonymous #1 9w

I feel like also any guy would want to date a pretty girl? And a pretty girl would have the conventional beauty standards

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Anonymous OP 9w

Baddie is a modernized term of ‘hot’ and realistically objectively attractive people are attractive, but a ‘baddie’ is also a personality type. LOOKSMAXING and MOGGING is a complete guy thing and I haven’t heard anything about that being used with women, and also it’s based on facial symmetry and bone structure rather than attractiveness. Also there’s an argument that these kind of people simply aren’t real and are AI generated. (Not saying they don’t exist but they aren’t ‘real’ iykyk)

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Anonymous OP 9w

To many men a pretty girl is the one they spend the most time around and who shows genuine interest in them. Studies have shown that for people who’ve known each for a year, the appearance of one partner is not correlated with the appearance of the other

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Anonymous #1 9w

But like what type of girl would they want to spend time with in the first place? Of course the conventionally pretty one

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Anonymous OP 9w

Why are you trying to chase after low IQ cattle anyways, I’m telling you actually interesting people with depth aren’t doing all of that

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Anonymous OP 9w

Maybe you have to be reasonably in his league but you definitely see a lot of women dating men who are modestly more attractive than them

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Anonymous #6 9w

Also 90% of those guys are only looking to “crack” “fine shyt” and have 0 substance anyway.

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Anonymous #6 9w

Wouldn’t they want a relationship if she is pretty enough?

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Anonymous OP 9w

Whether or not he chooses to have a relationship with a girl depends more on whether HE is ready, c.f stoplight theory

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Anonymous #1 9w

I always heard that guys usually will just go for either a relationship or hookup depending on if he thinks he can do better or not.

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Anonymous OP 9w

I think you’ve only ever lived your life and are viewing men from a social media attention grabbing point of view and I think you need to take a break from social media and actually meet people IRL and talk to them.

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Anonymous #6 9w

OP needs to crash weddings or sumn to see who real men are dating and what people are actually looking for in a partner. Granted, it does change with age and older people are less superficial

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Anonymous #6 9w

I have dated guys and they’ve all kinda treated me like I’m disposable and not pretty. I think one time a guy sat me down and told me I’m not his type so it’s really scared me regarding my physical appearance

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Anonymous OP 9w

Where are you from because this sounds like some Florida energy

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Anonymous OP 9w

Unfortunately sounds like you’ve just experienced shitty men

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Anonymous #6 9w

Pa lol

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Anonymous OP 9w

Types can be real. Men can genuinely prefer a certain archetype, like goth girls, over others, but that doesn’t mean a girl wasn’t pretty enough

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Anonymous #4 9w

I just view them as regular guys ngl I don’t think they were inherently evil just didn’t view me as worth the effort

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Anonymous #1 9w

Yeah I’m lowkey no guys type lol

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Anonymous OP 9w

That’s a story you’re choosing to tell yourself because the uncertainty of not being chosen is too much to take. It’s easier to believe the future is already decided

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Anonymous #1 9w

I mean I’ve been told repeatedly that my appearance and aesthetic isn’t their type

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Anonymous OP 9w

Even if you were told no 100 times that doesn’t mean you’re not anyone’s type. People today experience dozens of rejections before they find a lifelong partner

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Anonymous OP 9w

This just makes me want to know who was “so ugly” to make you feel like this, I need to know atp.

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Anonymous #6 9w

I’ll dm you the details

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Anonymous #7 9w

There’s a difference between a preference for youth and pedophilia. Men do like wide hips and full chests tho and typically don’t care so much about height

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Anonymous #1 9w

sure it depends but often times men stop being attracted to their partners as they age. its why so many older women are terrified of getting older

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Anonymous #7 9w

This 100%

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