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I am not romantically interested in men. Sometimes when I say that some guys think they can “change me”. What is a way to make it clear I am uninterested that isn’t telling them because that doesn’t always work? Like is there something so unattractive?
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Anonymous 8w

I used to be a lesbian (ftm) and that shit was so fucking frustrating. Its just men being entitled to womens bodies

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Anonymous 8w

You can’t convince people out of a belief they hold without evidence. Because of biology and the patriarchal nature of society some men will feel entitled to you no matter what you say or do

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Anonymous 8w

It always makes me sad too because all of my guy friends are respectful and understanding. I don’t want to scare away possible friends but I don’t want them to think there’s a chance with me because there isn’t

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Anonymous 8w

“I do not find the Batarang attractive. I am attracted to the Batcave”

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Anonymous 8w

So you’re gay?

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Anonymous 8w

Wear a hijab, act crazy, scream, speak weirdly, be bitchy

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 8w

I mean I had a guy online send me my address and tell me he was going to bring some friends to make me “prove it”. Another one in person told me he would “rape a baby” into me until I liked it. There are some crazy people out there. Meanwhile some of my friends get crushes and go “yeah sorry I got a crush on you” then we move on because I’m never going to judge them for that if they can take me saying that I don’t feel the same

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

I honestly don’t think it is helped by my body. Small waist, big boobs, short, etc. I look fine, not super pretty or anything, but my body has made life a little harder sometimes

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I have Muslim friends. Hijabs don't stop anything. In fact they often make people want to take it off more in some twisted way

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

It mitigates the risk, if your Muslim friends lived a life away from all of that, then the attention received would be ten fold. It’s like sanitizers, you can get rid of 100% of germs

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

It truly doesn’t though. The amount of times I have heard variations of “let me take that off” like it’s a sexy thing is far too many. Also covering my face doesn’t help. Like I said before my face is meh it’s my body that’s the problem. I have already tried dressing more modest but it doesn’t seem to matter

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

We’ve truly lost the plot here. It’s not woman’s responsibility to stop men’s misbehavior. Modesty culture does nothing to stop the systemic harassment and abuse of women.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

“She’s just a Gazelle, she should be able to just stand out in the open without the risk of being hunted down”. Like I said, mitigation, there’s always a weirdo somewhere, it’s the nature of the world. So take the umbrella when its raining outside

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I can act crazy, scream, speak weirdly, be bitchy. But I won’t be wearing a hijab as it simply isn’t something that would work for me

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

That’s fine! It was only a suggestion my goodness.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

The problem is with your framing. You position men as natural predators who have no choice but to hunt. We can’t stop lions from hunting gazelle but men can be held responsible for their behavior

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

I’m glad you understood my points, but don’t get bogged down by the phrasing. Think of it as pursuing, which I’m sure youre fine with since it’s deemed normal for the man to pursue the woman in most cases. Unfortunately, some men have a terrible strategy when it comes to it and if/when they take it too far, they do get rightfully punished one way or another in many cases. Its the way of life generally women would rather not be the one to pursue, so men shoot their shots, many miss o well move on

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I think you treat sexual harassment as a matter of degree, rather than something that is categorically different than normal approaching. Someone who won’t take no for an answer doesn’t care about what a woman is wearing and isn’t easily deterred. They don’t care whether a woman is inviting attention with her clothing or not because they don’t care what she wants.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

There are some crazy mofos out there, this isn’t news unfortunately. These people dont understand social dynamics and are unable to read a room, ego plays a big part of that so it’s best to remove yourself from their proximity best you can. It comes down to risk management, and I don’t know about you but I’m not parking my car in the ghetto

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I get what you mean I think we’re just designing solutions on a different scale. It’d always good to be safe, but on a societal scale, I’m optimistic we can find more sustainable solutions

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 8w

Best of like finding a system to police something like that, really. Anyway HOTD is on so, its time for my regularly scheduled hour of inbred family drama

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

Nope not quite. I’m aromantic. Just most people don’t really get that and it’s easier to say that I’m not romantically interested. I said men specifically here as this is Ask Men. Also I have found that women haven’t reacted the way men have for me

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

Aromanticism isn’t a real thing. You’re gay. Hope this helps!

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

But I’m not attracted to women either lol. This is why I said what I did

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 8w

I wish you good luck with your dragon and house watching

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

Imagine being so loudly wrong 😂

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

I hope you don’t mind that I screenshot your message and sent it my friends. I thought it was very funny and so did they. If you have questions about what being aromantic means or how I think or anything like that I would be happy to answer. That goes for everyone! As long as everything is respectful of course. I’ve been like this my whole life. No crushes, no attraction. I’m on the extreme end of the spectrum

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

I feel like having crushes on your friends is normal to some degree, being able to talk about it and not act on it, is honestly the sign of a decent friend and one who respects you and your wellbeing.

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Anonymous replying to -> #6 8w

I try to tell everyone I become friends with that I’m not going to be interested ahead of time. It makes things easier. Of course I have still had friendships end because some people believe that my “mind can be changed” or something. But I do have friends that have confessed feelings and then we had a conversation and I tried to help them feel better. I don’t want them to feel shame for feeling attracted but I also need them to know that it won’t become anything romantic

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

100% Imagine going into a relationship with the intention of “changing” the other person? Like wtf, that’s the whole reason you want to date them, cuz they are who they are… I just meant more so in a way that’s less “I need you to acknowledge my feelings”, and more “I’m sorry I’m the way that I am right now” like, I’m a firm believer you should have crushes on your friends they’re incredible people, that said, having the wherewithal to understand the reasons why your not dating them… important!!

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 8w

To be as loud without saying anything true is bold as you are one day. To be a basic ass man

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

What the everliving fuck 😦

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Anonymous replying to -> #9 8w

Don’t think I understand what you’re getting at unfortunately

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

Batarang is like a boomerang from Batman…so like a dick. The cave on the other hand…

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Anonymous replying to -> #9 8w

Oh I’m not attracted to either

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 8w

“I’m not attracted to your Batarang, nor the Batcave” 👍🏻

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Anonymous replying to -> #9 8w

Can’t say I’ve used that one. I will keep it in mind 🫡

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Anonymous replying to -> #6 8w

I used to feel guilty that I didn’t have crushes back. Like somehow I was ruining their lives by not returning their feelings even though I made it clear that wasn’t an option from the beginning. But that’s not something I can make happen and lying to make them happy would end up with me in a relationship I didn’t want to be in. Of course I still have empathy for those that do fall for me because they are my friends regardless. I think it’s nice that they feel comfortable enough to tell me

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