Anonymous #2 6d

I’m glad to know it’s normal

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Anonymous OP 6d

I feel like there’s something wrong with me

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Anonymous OP 6d

I mean think about it, basically all of songs and movies and instagram meme posts are about this lol

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Anonymous #2 6d

But keep ur standards high, I am curious what they are if u wanna dm me cause I don’t think mine are toooo high but def not like everyone yk

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Anonymous #2 5d

That’s actually so true

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Anonymous #3 5d

I would have never thought men could truly relate to this. I’m most afraid that if I communicate this I will find someone who relates and then we subconsciously try to force a connection

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Anonymous OP 5d

Well that’s where I think you’re confused. All you want is attention, but the kind of attention you want is not healthy without a connection, that’s the nature of it. Romantic attention is not intended for people who don’t want a connection. So I think that is a critical disassociation you’ve made, the two are mutually inclusive, if you want romantic attention, you have to want a connection, and if you don’t I assure you it will become toxic to your character or theirs.

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Anonymous OP 5d

What I suggestion is that you don’t find someone who relates but someone who is okay with the conditions you’re setting forth for your time. You want romantic attention, they want something too, if you guys can’t agree, go on to the next person. The only way you’re going to ‘subconsciously force’ something is no way, you can’t, it’s an oxymoron to have control over your subconscious. That’s why it’s *sub*consciousness.

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Anonymous #3 5d

Anyways, find someone whose down w it, if you can’t, adjust and analyze what it is exactly that you want because in my opinion you seem to just want a one sided relationship that only benefits your emotions and maybe some self reflection around that could help you find a more beneficial middle ground for you and those you chose to engage with.

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Anonymous #3 5d

No no you have it wrong. I 100% do want that connection. I just don’t want a forced connection or forced attention because in my past experience that is what leads it to become toxic

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Anonymous #3 5d

In the past I was with someone who claimed was okay with my conditions, as you said, but down the line I realized that more than anything he felt that we were similar in our past experiences and what we desired so he tried to force that connection. I saw all the odds between us and the things that didn’t work but when I pointed it out he acted like I was some evil bitch who snaked him. His exact words “I had on these rose colored glasses with you that made me ignore all the difference”

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Anonymous OP 5d

To say the least, that was a 10/10 never again, don’t recommend experience. There were other things that happened between us as well that isn’t really relevant in this conversation but my point is that I feel like it’s very easy to mix up the feeling of relating and truly understanding and being okay with the “conditions” one may have. Once I realized that he was trying to change me into HIS perfect girlfriend instead of liking me for me, that’s when I packed it up

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Anonymous OP 5d

Totally valid, I see where you’re coming from. In that case, I think the best way to tell is things that don’t have too much to do with the attention or connection but the person. You have to have an eye for people who are content in themselves, not looking to fill a void, men who aren’t lonely but comfortable in solitude (but I would approach people who want what you want) and also understand what kind of dynamic you want. I don’t think what I said before is irrelevant, find yourself…

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Anonymous #3 5d

Figure out what’s best for you and the way you want to live you life. That is not an easy thing and I find that when I come across a woman who also understand this and is willing to go through that process in a mutually respectful way I get very good outcomes. It’s not to say things can’t go wrong, we’re human they always can, but it’s about putting your heart out w eye best foot forward and a keen eye for those doing the same and those just playing the part in their own delusion.

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Anonymous OP 5d

What you want isn’t bad, it’s just hard as fuck to achieve

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Anonymous #3 5d

Oh yea fs. I definitely need to work on myself before I worry about anything else. But your words are very helpful, thank you

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Anonymous OP 5d

Of course your welcome best of luck

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Anonymous #3 4d

Thank you thank you

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Anonymous #4 4d

I mean yes that’s very true, some of my best friends and closest friendships are with men but it’s strictly platonic and I would never change that. Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, it doesn’t matter. Everyone does have their own experiences and opinions so yes you’ll definitely get diverse perspectives

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