Anonymous #1 2w

genuinely asking, can you give some examples of situations that women don’t take accountability?

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Anonymous #2 2w

It’s extremely common in couple fights. Once I eavesdropped on the couple next door (they were screaming and the walls are thin, I didn’t have a choice), the guy was saying how she was being mean to him and she screamed at him about how she was on her period and had cramps and how he didn’t understand because he’s a man and men are stupid. Literally. Many men have experiences like this. Even with my parents it was like this, although admittedly my dad is an idiot sometimes

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Anonymous #1 2w

I see. So would you say she wasn’t taking accountability because she snapped in the first place, because she excused it with her period, because of her calling him stupid as a man, or all of the above? I’m mostly wondering if it’s the period bit being her reasoning for being mean (prior to the screaming and insults which I don’t agree with)

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Anonymous #3 2w

Most of the time I feel like it’s about women being defensive, then citing the reasons that they’re defensive as justification. It’s like saying “I stole because I’m poor and hungry”. You might have a good reason, but you’re still a thief. I’d happily be a thief if that’s what it took to survive, but I’d also own up to the fact that I’m a thief. And if possible, I’d try to stop being a thief.

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Anonymous #1 2w

well factually speaking, a woman’s hormones and body chemicals fluctuate greatly on her period, not to mention extra complications if she has pcos or endometriosis that worsens these symptoms. she also isn’t wrong that a man won’t understand, as someone with a penis will never experience what it’s like to have a monthly cycle

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Anonymous #1 2w

women don’t ask for these bodily changes, yet society shuns it and women learn abt a man’s wet dreams over their own cycles in sex ed. it’s unfair to say that when we know more about how the male body works over our own and for men to expect a woman to act “normal” when the only solution is bc and being told to deal w it

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Anonymous #2 2w

So you’re basically backing up the claim that women don’t take accountability because you’re saying that your periods justify you being a dickhead

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Anonymous OP 2w

All of the above

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Anonymous #1 2w

no, i am just explaining how the woman’s body works cause you don’t seem to understand how periods work. during our periods, serotonin, estrogen and progesterone drop and it effects our mood; they are chemical changes in the body. I don’t think that women intend to be an asshole when a women is experiencing low levels of hormones that regulate mood, along with other things

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Anonymous #1 2w

in addition, studies have shown that period cramps can possibly be as painful as a heart attack

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Anonymous #1 2w

you have proved from your example that you don’t understand what the woman is going thru, just the fact she was mean in these given circumstances that aren’t even by choice

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Anonymous #1 2w

I think there’s a difference between getting snippy around your period due to the intense hormonal shifts and just plain being an asshole. I definitely get snippy and short tempered before mine, but my partner knows it’s nothing personal and I own up to it after since he helps me with whatever I’m crashing out over when it happens. I think it’s a vicious cycle when a woman gets a bad response for a natural process when she’s in discomfort, she’ll get defensive and it just escalates from there

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Anonymous #4 2w

This is the kind of answer I was looking for tbh. I do think that goes both ways of course but your reasoning isn’t a product of misogyny

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Anonymous OP 2w

Yes, everyone has bad moods, even men, it’s natural, but that doesn’t mean you get to say whatever you want

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Anonymous #1 2w

I know periods are different but the logic is the same

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Anonymous #1 2w

Right, but what I’m saying is the outcomes of my situation compared to what you’re describing have a common differentiating factor; the response to those mood swings. My partner and I never fight because he empathizes with me and tries to help me first, so I’m much more open to admitting when I’m in the wrong. But if he responded with hostility and blame I would more likely double down and escalate things.

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Anonymous #1 2w

I think there’s a massive communication barrier between people who don’t have the emotional intelligence to empathize with each other and who don’t stop to consider why the other person is behaving a certain way before assigning blame

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Anonymous OP 2w

I see a lot of dumb shit like that from time to time but I don’t remember it, I don’t let it occupy space in my mind cause I avoid those types of people man or women

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Anonymous #2 2w

WAY too many examples to list but here’s one: I’ve had a lot of women see commitment/commitment issues as a male-only variable. They expect plans to move in together, get a dog, and a ring all on the first few dates. But on their end will feel absolutely no attachment to the relationship; they’ll still be on the fence about the whole relationship and will ghost, cheat, or threaten to break up as the first line of attack in any argument, THEN ask what I’m waiting for in terms of “the future”

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Anonymous #5 2w

Related is that if a guy talks about dating goals and says any variation of “it depends” she’ll write you off as a hit&quit even (and especially) if what it depends on is whether she’s gf/wife material and how the relationship is going. There’s just this huge widespread blind spot for women where they can’t wrap their minds around the idea that their own behaviors matter, especially in relationships. It seems to come from how infinitely replaceable men have become due to social media & such; wom

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Anonymous #5 2w

en don’t NEED to reflect or work on themselves. They can just blame others and have a trillion voices on the internet uncritically validate them, and increasingly get away with it in their external lives. So the result is a lot of women who are hard to form any kind of partnership with bc of that deeply ingrained narcissism & lack of inward critical thinking/accountability.

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Anonymous #5 2w

I would encourage you to find a descriptor other than narcissism/narcissistic just because I think it waters down the term, I’d rather say self centered or conceited depending on the context. That has nothing to do with your comment as a whole but just something I wanted to note. What I will say though is I think all social interactions have been turned into a commodity because of social media (especially dating apps) and it negatively affects everyone :/ not sure what the solution is though

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Anonymous OP 2w

I’m a bit mystified by that suggestion bc I dont understand using a word accurately as “watering it down”. If theres an epidemic of too many narcissists, calling them something different does nothing to address that or any other problem I can discern. Seems at best it’s a way of burying our heads in the sand. Theres a lot of water in the ocean. Trillions of gallons of it. Does that mean we should find some euphemism so we don’t have to call it water? And why? Just because there’s a lot of it?

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Anonymous #5 2w

Because it’s a mental health disorder and I have experienced it first hand, I’m just not a fan of throwing the term around haphazardly when real narcissism has severe and long lasting effects on the people around it. It’s not accurate in that example unless you’re talking about people with the condition, but usually it’s not used the correct way

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Anonymous OP 2w

Though it’s entirely possible many or most of the narcissists I’ve met DO qualify for that disorder (i couldn’t personally know whether they’re diagnosed), I was referring (and I thought obviously) to the personality trait, NOT the diagnosis. It’s a far older usage, by centuries and possibly older than the English language (as it references a Greek myth). Nothing incorrect about using it that way. That’s like saying Lou Gherig isnt a guy, it’s a disease. It’s both & disease was named for him.

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Anonymous #3 2w

i feel like this question is a bad example. its the ask women equivalent of when someone on here ask "tits or ass?" i understand its abt preferences but the reason women blow up and get annoyed by it is bc that specific question is asked all the time multiple times a day even irl. just like how men on here get annoyed when someone ask tits or ass or any variation of that question. so again i see what you're saying but i just thought i point out the the question for the example wasn't the best.

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