Ask Men on Sidechat | Ok men.. the ladies don’t help much… How should I get over a 10 year crush on a guy who I don’t idealize, like his real personality, accept his faults, would accept his KID, and we only see each other 1-2 times a year now for about 4-5 years now.

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Ask Men 11w

Ok men.. the ladies don’t help much… How should I get over a 10 year crush on a guy who I don’t idealize, like his real personality, accept his faults, would accept his KID, and we only see each other 1-2 times a year now for about 4-5 years now.

Anonymous 11w

I would say either tell him how to feel to get some closure or perhaps try to move on through making new social connections with other men. How often do you talk with him? If you two barely interact I would say this might verge on an obsession and therapy could be beneficial for your situation

Anonymous 11w

Join a run club and get with every guy theee

Anonymous 11w

Normally I would say out of sight out of mind, but clearly that hasn’t worked. I’m not one for therapy but that sounds appropriate for your situation, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you already heard that advice

Anonymous 11w

Don’t worry girl I have a childhood crush and he is still my crush even tho he is married now. I haven’t seen him in 3 years since i moved to another country and still he comes in my dreams 2 3 times a week even tho i don’t think about him all day.

Anonymous 11w

Therapy, or if you want something more evil, a string of meaningless one-night stands/situationships until you find someone you like more

Anonymous 11w

Well, if he’s your dream man who you don’t idealize but like his real personality, why aren’t you together?

Anonymous

#3 11w

I am not in therapy and YES on the social connections I need more that’s a serious problem. And I have been trying to work on it, not easy with little connections now. But definitely friendly w others. And yes I’m finding new men, I’ve slept around dated as well. Idk he’s just always in the back of my mind like yea he’s my dream man. We talk maybe 1-4 times a year and I see him 1-2 times when he’s around and throws a party once a year

Anonymous

#4 11w

I haven’t yet I’ve been sleeping around for like 2 years now after I finally caved after I dated some boozoo for years to just move myself along and got emotional and financially abused it was baddd

Anonymous

OP 11w

Yeah I think therapy's the move tbh

Anonymous

#5 11w

Bc I was a little shit bag way back in HS and he had a nice gf then and then boom college, separated ways, I wasn’t super popular so I didn’t speak to ppl from school but we kept distantly in touch closer at other points and back again. He lives many states away and I know I’m not his type it is very clear. He has progressed so far and I haven’t. Different life paths really

Anonymous

#5 11w

But I really don’t idealize him like yes I know his faults and things I dislike about him but they really don’t get in my way idk he just makes it all work right. I can call his bs out any day and then that would lead to a 3 hr philosophy talk given the chances we speak. Or hear about his dating life from here and there and still be okay on it, his accidents, his actual liked lovers. I’m fine with it I can maintain my line and know where I’m not needed

Anonymous

#6 11w

Lmfao my area doesn’t have any I’ve looked before that was a rumor - there aren’t any groups for young adults here. Unless I want to drive 45 to the nearest city limit area to attend a social event but jeez to just go meet ppl and then have to maintain about 30-1hr drive to see ppl is rough on my gas tank