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Ask Men 4w
Hi so ofc its not all men but why do a lot of guys say that a woman "chose" someone who is actually awful and abusive if thats never how they behaved in the beginning and just put on a GREAT act?
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Anonymous 4w

a lot of people can sus out more involved intention intuitively. like are you really saying you sat there for weeks and never even picked up that maybe there’s something a little off? usually it is picked up on but placed incorrectly as mystery or danger misplaced as protection. its like dudes who love toxic girls but dudes tend to be more open that they like it. girls do like the “danger,” they just misconstrue the signals of “guy who won’t be messed with” and “guy who kicks puppies” often

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Anonymous 4w

A lot of guys pretend to be good and I feel like guys are better at sniffing out guys who are pieces of shit

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Anonymous 4w

My guess would be they see personal autonomy as their main lens and see everything through that

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

But can we also maybe think that maybe because we are women that we may not understand some social cues that men have that may scream "danger" to other men but nothing to women and vice versa? Like i feel like its obvious a man would pick up easier on the behaviors and acts of other men yk?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

a lot of the “they chose that” stems from pattern recognition. a one off is one thing. but after 3 abusive bfs and every single one who didn’t lay a finger was also a cheater, you have a type. there’s probs a decent one out there but you do choose guys who exhibit the same habits and feelings that lead to the less than ideal spot that you’ve ended up in. and you don’t need to be a dude to pick up the people who act a certain way are gonna do certain things

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

See i totally get this! But I often hear this said only after one toxic relationship

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

Wdym

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

They see events as isolated incidents and not results of compounding variables. Disregarding things like trauma

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

That’s exactly what it is. Men are typically way better at spotting when a guy is bad news.

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