Sidechat logo
Download TikTok Instagram X
Sidechat icon
Join communities on Sidechat Download
Ask Men icon
Ask Men 1w
is it irrational to tell the guy who wants to date me that if he can’t hold a conversation throughout the day it’s probably not going to work out? i dont hear from him til like 7 pm
comment

15
upvote 9 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

A bit yeah. Some people are busy during the day or not on their phones. If you need constant communication then maybe he isn’t the guy for you; it’s not necessarily a failing on his part that he’s not doing this

upvote 9 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

I would ask him about it, maybe be like “Oh if youre busy could you tell me that so I dont feel like Im in the dark”?

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

I don’t mean like every hour of every day but I do have things to say throughout the day and I don’t want to have to be all on his time

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

No the man need to spend atleast 2 seconds an hour letting you know

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

Absolutely not, unless he’s a surgeon or an attorney in court all day every one has a few minutes every so often to text. This is a perfect example of: if he wanted, he would

upvote 0 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

I don’t need it to be constant communication I just need you to be able to hold a conversation

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

As in answer texts all throughout the day?

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

just be responsive when you have a minute

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

Well this is my point, it is entirely normal for many people and couples to not text for several hours, even a whole shift. That’s not a moral failing or sign of disinterest, just a personal boundary. Best you can do is explain that you need very frequent communication and see if that’s something he’s willing to put in effort to match. If doing so violates his own boundaries then y’all will need to find a happy middle or maybe y’all just aren’t compatible

upvote 20 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

Again I’m good with not texting for several hours just when you can respond do it thoughtfully. Like when I say hold a conversation I mean be fun to text not text me every minute

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

Ah ok, I see what ur saying. Still tho I think that also just comes down to communication styles. I personally despise texting small talk (or “conversation”, meaning just texting to text/talk) and would much prefer to call or meet in person. I just can’t express myself well over text and it’s tiring trying to fake it for someone who enjoys communicating that way. I’d ask him how he prefers to communicate and tell him the same for yourself, then y’all can try to meet in the middle

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

I see it as a compatibility thing, so yes it’s rational because he would be dating YOU, not any of us, and you are sensing a communication incompatibility.

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #5 1w

Some people have real jobs

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #6 1w

People with real jobs can often text. They don’t ~need~ to, but most people certainly can. Sincerely, someone with a “real job” who still texts his gf back

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #5 1w

How old do u think these people are 😭

upvote 1 downvote