Anonymous #1 2w

What why? Like its not like ive had 10+ partners in the last six months its been over years. Is it just an insecurity thing?

5

Anonymous OP 2w

It also depends on your age, I’m 22, but maybe my opinion will change by the time I’m 30 or 35. Id want someone with a similar level of experience as me.

13

Anonymous #1 2w

Oh tru that makes sense

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Idk for me the more partners ive had the more special and intimate its become bc i can be better and less awkward

4

Anonymous #5 2w

Yep like i know its misogyny but im so curious the reasoning behind it

6

Anonymous #7 2w

Why?

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

For the same reason women don’t want to date a guy who is addicted to porn.

17

Anonymous #7 2w

What does that mean? I dont see how they are the same

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

Do you want to date a guy with a porn addiction?

8

Anonymous #7 2w

I dont see how its the same as someone who is well practiced in actual sex...

-1

Anonymous OP 2w

Do you want to date a guy with a porn addiction?

5

Anonymous #5 2w

So this is actually just taking samples from different groups of men and calling it the same thing. Those men that say that you shouldn’t sleep around typically apply it to both men and women, and so they’d look down on men doing the same thing. The guys that consider it a win to sleep with a lot of women are not right in the head anyways so we don’t listen to them

11

Anonymous #8 2w

But why is it a problem to sleep around in general?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

For me at least I consider it amoral, I think that it’s something that should be kept for someone you truly deeply care about, it’s bad for your emotional health, puts you at higher risk for STD’s, I think it objectifies both people, and that it’s net negative. And just to be clear, that goes for men and women

3

Anonymous #8 2w

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/19485506241237288

1

Anonymous #3 2w

You can’t copy links from yikyak 😢

1

Anonymous #8 2w

amoral means not moralized - as in it is neither good nor bad. do you mean immoral?

1

Anonymous #3 2w

Yes, sorry, typo, sleepy

2

Anonymous OP 2w

And to clarify further, I think this is for men that are looking for serious relationships or connection. For men that just want to hook up, ignore what I said because they’re not caring about any of that. Just wanted to emphasize that this is from my perspective as someone who is looking for a serious partnership

6

Anonymous #8 2w

But how is it immoral what morals does it infringe on? Its just love

1

Anonymous OP 2w

It’s just like I want it to be special and intimate, and it doesn’t feel special or intimate if I know she’s done it with a bunch of people. And I don’t believe it’s love in the true sense of the word. I think lust is a better fit, because love is much more serious and exists without the sexual, and I don’t believe you can truly love “many” people

5

Anonymous #8 2w

It also depends on what your definition of “many” is. How much is many for you? What would you define it as?

7

Anonymous #8 2w

If u cant love many ppl i guess thats a you thing. Why cant it feel special to you if someone else has had sex more than you? Whos to say it isnt even more special to them than it is you?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Because it’s something that I’d only ever give to a very very specific person, which makes it special. It’s for them, and them only. So like if someone has had “many” partners before me, it doesn’t feel special. It feels like it’s just my turn, and there’s nothing unique about me that’s the reason she’s with me. How many people have you loved? I’ve only truly loved 2.

9

Anonymous #8 2w

you can screenshot and get the text from the picture

5

Anonymous #8 2w

Like 6 or 7 probably and it feel special every time. Do you mean youd only have sex with one person ever? Thats a hard standard to hold to other ppl

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Nah, it’s unreasonable to hold anyone to that standard. I just want to know that there was a serious and long term emotional connection for every instance, because that means she likely doesn’t view sex as a trivial or small thing to do. I’m not a wait till marriage guy but I think it should definitely be reserved for long term relationships. If she’s had a few more than me than that’s perfectly fine but if we’re talking like a dozen, then there are some other things that need to be discussed

7

Anonymous #8 2w

What is immoral about viewing sex as a fun and pleasurable thing and not some sacred thing?

3

Anonymous OP 2w

I’ll say it the same way the Supreme Court defined pornography in 1964, it ain’t easy to explain, but you know it when you see it. I believe it is definitely more than just something fun and pleasurable. I’m not gonna like hate on anyone who does it for fun or whatever but I personally won’t consider a girl marriage material if that’s how she views sex and that’s how she lived her life before me. That’s just me 🤷‍♂️

5

Anonymous #8 2w

Huh ig i just dont understand the pedestal sex is put on

5

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t really understand your pov either, but that’s what makes the world go around ig lol. We all have our preferences and there’s nothing wrong with that, just don’t be offended when a more modest guy might find that to be a turn off, the same way you might find something else to be a turn off. I wish you the best of luck with whichever you’re looking for!

4

Anonymous OP 2w

There are people who go their entire lives without sex.

4

Anonymous #8 2w

Modest guys are not even an issue im a lesbian and the norm in my circles is the line between friendship and love isnt rlly there so theres a lot to go around. From that i have a hard time conceptualizing how one could ascribe immorality onto how someone loves. Cuz like i believe that you dont rlly put it upon women to shame them for it, but by ascribing morality onto it, it inherently makes a value judgement into the morals of those women

1

Anonymous #7 2w

I dont want to date a guy

0

Anonymous #7 2w

Can i ask how this plays into the convo?

4

Anonymous OP 2w

Oh haha sorry for assuming. The norm for my circles is like we have our friend group of guys and obv we don’t date within the group because we’re almost all straight. I just personally believe that it should be within the confines of a relationship (aka hookup culture bad) but yeah I’d agree that I am judging the values of the people that do that, and those are not values that align with mine, at least not for that type of relationship. And yeah idk wth #7 is talking about lmao

3

Anonymous #8 2w

Ok i think im starting to get it, i think i may have a much broader definition of a relationship

5

Anonymous OP 2w

People act like it’s an insurmountable task to go without sex

4

Anonymous OP 2w

Would you be confused if a straight woman didn’t want to date a guy with a porn addiction?

12

Anonymous #7 2w

Yk i dont rlly get whats up with straight ppl and porn either. I know diff dynamics happen cuz theres a gender dichotomy and the legacy of exploitation in porn but idrk what ppl mean when they say porn addiction

0

Anonymous #7 2w

How is that relevant im lost, do you think im acting that way? Or are you tying it to what me and 8 were talking ab?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Why do you care about mens’ dating preferences if you don’t date men?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

It’s none of your business what we are and aren’t comfortable with in a relationship. Calling it misogyny is crazy, you aren’t going to shame us into dating people we don’t want to date.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Yeah I’m saying you’re acting that way. “That’s a hard standard to hold to other ppl” people do it on ACCIDENT bro.

4

Anonymous #7 2w

I mean like all ppl in general. Maybe im out of touch with how many ppl have sex in general cuz idk any virgins 🤷‍♀️

1

Anonymous #7 2w

Im not trying to shame you into dating ppl you judge i promise u that bro. However its hard to contest that putting down women for their sexuality is probably the number one misogyny trope ever. Not saying necessarily youre doing this tho to be clear

1

Anonymous #7 2w

Im curious whats going on with men and with all the male loneliness talk going around i feel like i should try to engage with men and their outlooks more to try and understand it

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Why?

1

Anonymous #7 2w

Cuz we still live in a patriarchal system and whatever common discourses with men inform national politics. The manosphere stuff has a lot of sway rn and im curious where it comes from in the opinions of the men who hold that ideology. While personally i reject a lot of it i think its important to try and figure out where those ideas come from, yk?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Oh. I thought you actually cared for a sec.

1

Anonymous #7 2w

Bro what i absolutely do. These institutions are destroying young men in this country and im not just gonna ignore it cuz i dont date men. It affects everyone and everyone blames the men for the outcomes without understanding the drivers

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Can’t be special when you just give it to any Joe smoo that you don’t even develop a romantic connection with

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Honestly dude I’m lost too,#7 is talking but no meaning is coming out. Relationships for me are typically like if you see a future with this person, very much a date to marry culture. And that’s how it is for most people in my area (except for the frat boys and sorority girls) since I live in a conservative area. People don’t date unless they could see themselves spending the rest of their lives with the person, which inherently limits it to having an emotional bond, which is considered healthy

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Ok. I DMed you.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I salute you for trying to understand better, not many people do that these days

1

Anonymous #8 2w

Yeah, I can respect that at least.

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Well personally i do have deep connection to all my sexual partners. But also i dont get how it couldnt be special with a stranger

1

Anonymous #9 2w

40??? Good lord that’s an awful lot

1