Ask Men on Sidechat | To marry, I require that he make enough money for me to stay at home to raise our children. Is this a reasonable expectation?

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Ask Men 12w

To marry, I require that he make enough money for me to stay at home to raise our children. Is this a reasonable expectation?

Anonymous 12w

You’re expecting him to fill traditional gender roles, it’s only reasonable if you’re going to fulfill your end of the traditional gender roles as well

Anonymous 12w

As a women, part of me wants this. A bigger part of me doesn't. I would always feel guilty by not contributing financially especially in todays age where it's nearly impossible to support a nuclear family on a single income. I also think just incase something were to happen to my husband, he dies unexpectedly, he leaves me etc, i want to have my own form of income.

Anonymous 12w

Yeah, as long as you don’t expect to marry a guy who is 25 or younger

Anonymous 11w

Yeah just head over to the manosphere and I’m there there’s tons of red pilled guys who are looking for someone like you

Anonymous 12w

It’s gotta be equal in equal out

Anonymous 11w

No not in this economy

Anonymous 11w

Honestly no. I make 120k a year + bonus in finance (hcola) and know it’s not gonna be nearly enough, coworkers pay over 12k a month for raising their kids in a HCOLA. You’re gonna burn the man out chasing money; and when he’s no longer home for huge stretches of time you’ll want a divorce, and then that leaves you without a job or a career to fall back on. Raising kids is a multi-million dollar luxury nobody can afford.

Anonymous 11w

Yeah, I mean it’s fine as long as you’re ok with older traditions. You don’t want to marry a man who thinks like this and then realize you do want to work and he doesn’t want you to, you know?

Anonymous 12w

Raise children yes, raise you no. Get out and get a job.

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🐝

Anonymous 12w

Lol yall don’t really want this

-2

Anonymous 12w

It depends on how much time you expect to spend with ur hubby since he’ll be busy working to support you and kids

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Anonymous 12w

Translation I wanna be lazy and make my husband do everything

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Anonymous

#1 12w

Agreed. I think it’s fundamental to the family dynamic for the mother to nurture and raise the children. I would not have children if I have to continue working

Deleted 12w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 12w

this

Anonymous 12w

That’s not what I had meant to imply

Anonymous

#5 12w

i also think with this requirement you will attract guys who have this strict adherence to all gender roles. it will end up feeling more like you were forced it, and less like you choose it. i love to cook for my boyfriend and i but it be a different story if he made or demanded me to cook everyday. so just be careful. im assuming you're in college, at least get your degree bc that is something that you will never leave u

Anonymous

#6 12w

she didn’t say raise her though, stop being dense

Anonymous

#12 12w

lmao did you not have a stay at home mom? just say you hate women. You would rather a woman do all of the home feminine work and then have a job on top of it

Anonymous

#8 12w

No, ofc not. My mom is hard working and doesn’t do this gender roles bs

Anonymous

#12 12w

If the husband/father is working to pay the bills, I believe the wife/mother should do an equal part. This means assuming care of the home, the children, regularly cooking meals, etc. Otherwise, this would be a disservice to the man.

Anonymous

OP 12w

Even if that is true (which I don’t completely tbh, but we’ll agree to disagree on that), I think it’s been time to ditch these stupid patriarchal gender roles

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Anonymous

#12 12w

I actually completely agree, however if someone wants to choose to stay home they should be able to if thats what their partner is okay with too. I would hate being a stay at home wife, but to judge someone else for wanting a family that way is weird to me

Anonymous

#12 12w

if you genuinely think raising and taking care of children is lazy, you have never worked in childcare. Remember being a stay at home wife literally drove women to the point of lobotomy

Anonymous

#5 12w

Compared to working, yes relatively. Let’s be honest, there’s a reason op prefers to stay at home rather than work. And no, I don’t think it is “easy”

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Anonymous

#12 12w

I see it as an opportunity to indulge in a great blessing - children. While I work full-time in finance & find meaning and enjoyment in my work, I’d take greater pleasure in nurturing my children and maintaining a happy domestic sphere for the entire family.

Anonymous

#12 12w

definitely not relatively, I have worked in childcare and regular jobs and childcare is by far more exhausting and also a little scary because its a whole ass human you have to make sure stays alive

Anonymous

#12 12w

Again, like millions of individuals work in childcare?? Idk what you think it is but its not like fucking Toy Story. Its a lot of work both physically and mentally. There is literally a nationwide crisis of teachers leaving their jobs because children of today are so hard to manage. 90% of what they deal with is behavioral issues not even being able to teach.

Anonymous

#5 12w

Even with your own children it's slightly different but what if OP has a disabled child? What if they have multiple disabled children? That alone is hard. Coming from someone who has a disabled sibling

Anonymous

#5 12w

I know several people who don't want children because they worked in childcare and know they wouldn't be able to handle it

Anonymous

OP 12w

Ok I admit I was wrong. I still don’t like upholding gender roles though

Anonymous

#12 12w

Takes a secure person to admit that. I respect your opinion & thank you for sharing!

Anonymous

OP 12w

Yeah I’m sorry. I just am really outspoken against this stuff and I didn’t think logically

Anonymous

#12 12w

Bro is literally using an alt account to win an argument with himself online ☠️☠️☠️

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