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Ask Men 1d
I’ve deduced that this guy I’m talking to basically keeps people at arms length because of things that have happened in the past what do yall think is the best way to show him that I care and Im not going to leave or hurt him and break that wall he has up
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15
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Anonymous 1d

Really just time and love

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Anonymous 15h

Sadly there is nothing you can really do but I know I wish I had someone who would just poke at me once and a while to see if I was ok so try that maybe

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Anonymous 1d

You're a really sweet person for looking out for him, and I hope he shows you appreciation and kindness the way you do for him! To be honest, I realize this is gonna sound unhelpful, but I promise I'm not trying to be, being there for him, spending time with him, and accepting him when he decides to open up to you on his terms are things that can help! It's hard to be pushed around these kinda things when someone's ready so letting him decide when he wants to open up can be helpful to him.

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Anonymous 1d

Awww omggg. Does he also get really attached to people and is afraid of that happening? Honestly it’s really hard. Just ask how he’s doing, and be affectionate. You can also directly tell him that you care besides making plans to see him and initiating convos with him. If he were me flowers would help. I’d just need a vase. I wish I could be friends with this guy because we have stuff in common. I’ve met a few other guys that have dealt with this too.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

*that’s supposed to say I’ve met FEW as in maybe like 2, not “a few”

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

I don’t think he gets super attached to people. I think it’s more he stops it before it even happens. He said a bit ago. He didn’t want a relationship and now I’m almost betting that’s why and there’s like multiple reasons I think that. So like I just don’t necessarily know what to do because things are supposedly casual, even though they don’t feel very casual and I don’t wanna overstep, but I want him to know that I will be here for him.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

He’s already said that he feels safe around me and feels very comfortable and has definitely started to open up to me more so I think we’re on a good track. I just don’t know if there’s something more I could be doing.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

First of all, you sound really sweet and have a big heart, and he and others are very lucky to have you in their lives. Secondly, I’m not sure because it sounds like you’re already doing what I’d suggest besides directly telling him what you told me. If I were him though I’d probably start crying once I realized I was getting attached to you. Or if I were, I’d deny it at first. I’m glad to know that people like you exist ♡, and I really hope it works out.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

If some of the words sound weird or are in the wrong places, I’m exhausted right now lol so their might be typos

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

See I just don’t even know how I would tell him what I said to you like I feel like there’s never a good point to bring it up because I only hear snippets of all of this stuff in like bits and pieces and also I feel like, especially if this is somehow just casual to him it would be really weird to bring it up

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

I honestly wish I had more walls up because I get attached so easily to people and then just get hurt

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1d

That said, I also wanna say that while it's kind of you to look out for him and care, he has to also be willing to be open and not keep people he does want in his life at arm's length so just know that if he does that in spite of you being supportive and being there, it's not anything you're doing wrong and you should never feel responsible! You should look out for yourself too and make sure you're being treated with the same care and compassion you're showing him

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

Oh. Yeah you do have a point. I wonder if me being this direct with people is part of why I am still single 😭😭.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1d

I completely forgot to say this! Also important. But I completely agree with everything you said 👨🏻

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1d

If this guy does have feelings and gets attached it’s definitely going to take some time to process that.

upvote 2 downvote