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Ask Men 11w
What's the science behind my boyfriend telling me I'm beautiful and then following that up by telling me ways I can make myself look better
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18
upvote 26 downvote
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Anonymous 11w

He’s probably trying to sandwich criticism with compliments to make it more palatable. It also sounds like to me like it may be a backhanded compliment.

upvote 33 downvote
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Anonymous 11w

Well, what’s he saying specifically?

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 11w

Yeah

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 11w

It’s love to be honest and to want you to improve (and not bc of potential deficiencies)

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous 11w

ask him

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 11w

Literally whatever comes to mind. I need to tan, lose weight, whiten my teeth, shave my chin, dye my hair blonde etc. I'm about to tell him to shave his fucking unibrow at this point

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Also weird ass comments about things I can't just change like asking if I'd try to fix an indent on my jawline thats there from a past surgery or getting a mole/birthmark removed. (Im ranting sorry but also fuck him I'm just with him bc hes hot)

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 11w

I think love is accepting that people will naturally have imperfections but loving them for those, not nitpicking and expecting your girlfriend to spend hours on her appearance

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Bruh leave him

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

He’s going way too far and that’s messed up

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 11w

I'm dropping him as soon as he helps me pass my spanish course since I don't even feel bad about using him at this point. It's just crazy a guy that only lives with women could talk to one like that

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

If he’s nitpicking, then for sure that’s over the top. Some critique every now and then, especially when asked, is what I’m talking about

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Doesn’t sound like he’s into YOU. He wants a completely different girl, that’s messed up

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #7 11w

Yeaaaah I think I'm about to end things with him in like an hour 🎊🎉

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Update?

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 11w

... He apologized and told me to tell him if he ever does anything to hurt me again. I could tell he genuinely felt bad about it, but I'm still pissed and waiting to see if he actually follows through on changing. If not, I'm blocking him and moving on

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

If he was giving those comments unsolicited, idk he could just be manipulating you by faking coming across as genuinely feeling bad into giving him another chance. As someone who wants to assume the best of people, it can be hard to think there are people who can fake coming across as genuine so easily, but I’ve learned the hard way that some people can just shamelessly fake that stuff.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 11w

💯

upvote 4 downvote