Anonymous #7 4w

@OP Did you?

1

Anonymous #10 4w

Is that the only point of marriage?

0

Anonymous #7 4w

Idk 😭💀. If it isn’t, then what is the point?

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Anonymous #10 4w

K, so reassured marriage is bs

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Anonymous #7 4w

I mean, it makes sense if ur having kids, but I’m not sure I want kids

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Anonymous #11 4w

Honestly asking. What should the pro’s of getting married be?

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Anonymous #13 4w

The fact most men are not 6 foot and most men are married proves this to be false. Most men of a certain age at 5’4 in the world are also married, your view is not based in reality

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Anonymous #14 4w

Most men who are already married met their spouse and even got married before women got on their 6ft tall BS. That happened within the last ~5 years?..

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Anonymous #14 4w

But I have a non muslim friend who holds very diff ideas from myself that doesn’t “date to marry,” & he said the reason is he just wants to enjoy his time w ppl/have new experiences without concrete expectations. I think our culture is generally hedonist, so that coupled with divorce rates and not rly having a strong reason for marriage makes a lot of ppl not prioritize it—especially at our age in college when ppl have other priorities and just want to have fun

2

Anonymous #7 4w

it's a more solid commitment, and there's legal benefits. and to me it's a way to tell your partner that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, not just be a "long-term" partner

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Anonymous #13 4w

I mean I’m 6’5 & I can’t find someone to marry, I’m not blaming that on my height though—I just haven’t found anyone compatible. Meanwhile, my friend who’s 5’6 literally got married 2 weeks ago. Sure most women do like taller men, but they also care a lot less abt height than you think, usually they just want someone taller than them, not 6’+ per se. Some will go for men shorter than them too. I reject the 5yr claim you made, but even if it were true that would mean it’s a temporary phase

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Anonymous #13 4w

Also, if all the experiences with women you’ve had have been bad, I’d earnestly recommend you reevaluate and raise your standards to stop going for those type of people. If you tell yourself you’re doomed, you will be doomed—no one likes doomer energy. Most people in the world are under 6’ and I think you’ve got a rly decent chance of finding someone to love and live life with, like your parents, and like countless short people throughout history and its varying circumstances. Keep your head up

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Anonymous #15 4w

I’d say it’s actually the dual income that’s the bigger benefit when being married than the taxes. Very few ways to conceivably double your income outside of marriage

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Anonymous #14 4w

While I get what you’re saying doesn’t the system you’re describing have its own issues? For example not truly knowing someone very well before marriage or familial pressure to marry specific people? The traditional US system while not as regimented is based on individual choice and has more flexibility

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Anonymous #18 4w

I think that’s more of a cultural thing tbh, my parents aren’t pressuring me to marry anyone, & neither did their parents. I have full individual choice to marry anyone I like, just haven’t met that person yet. And you can get to know a person without getting physical with them pretty easily imo, it’s not like you have to marry them a week after meeting lmao

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Anonymous #14 4w

Right but you described that you guys don’t date in a traditional sense so are you guys actually traveling, living together, doing things as couples publicly before marriage? Those things help determine compatibility

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Anonymous #18 4w

Nah, I think compatibility can be gauged without all that (provided one is pragmatic and emotionally intelligent). Most couples for most of human history did none of those things prior to marriage—and still do none of those things prior to marriage in most of the world. And the method I ascribe to seems to work, I don’t know anyone that’s divorced when following it personally

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Anonymous #14 4w

I think traveling with a partner, living with them, and being couples publicly is super common throughout the world

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Anonymous #18 4w

Then you haven’t traveled enough tbh, Europe & North America aren’t all there is in the world, western culture with this type of cohabitation thing before marriage is pretty unique, and wasn’t a common thing whatsoever in even this country prior to the 60s

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Anonymous #14 4w

I was born in Asia, it’s not uncommon nowadays for people to date more similarly to people in Latin America, Europe, or North America. I think your perspective is based on the Islamic world which is only a fraction and tends to be an outlier on dating. It is a new phenomenon because people don’t get married at 20 anymore at the behest of their families

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Anonymous #18 4w

My friend’s grandma in India was marriage was brokered at 8 and she was actually married at 12 in 1950’s

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Anonymous #18 4w

It is not. I might be American, but my parents worked for Doctors Without Borders, so I grew up traveling the world till high school. I speak 7 languages and have been to 34 countries, only 8 of which were in the Islamic world (even my grandparents are from a non Muslim majority country). Go to Panyu in Guangzhou and ask literally any shopkeeper how they got married—you won’t hear about any cohabitation prior to marriage, I know bc I hung out w a shopkeeper I met there and got to know his family

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Anonymous #18 4w

It is extremely uncommon for most people in Asia to date the same way most people do here, some elites mimic our social trends sure, but the overall populace does not, and by and large adhere to their own local customs

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Anonymous #14 4w

Im not muslim but think I can agree with that description (I don’t date like this generation I was born into)

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Anonymous #14 4w

Same. Its more like they want a continual bloodline.

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Anonymous #7 4w

Continual bloodline?

5

Anonymous #18 4w

Honestly asking, (So please speak personally) how do you date/your cultural influence?

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Anonymous #14 4w

Yeah a new family tree branch

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Anonymous #7 4w

I still don’t know what you’re referring to ngl, like what were you replying in reference to?

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Anonymous #14 4w

The only points of marriage i think would be relevant

1

Anonymous #7 4w

Oh, sure ig but there’s always the chance you or her could be infertile. I think it’s more about companionship and peace but raising the next generation with someone you trust and love is fs a major reason too

1

Anonymous #7 4w

For your question: I’m a pretty social person. If I’m interested in a girl, I ask for her father’s number—ideally through an intermediary, but directly if needed—talk to him, and if he approves I talk to her with another person to get to know who she is as a person, her values, life plans, thoughts, general chemistry, lifestyle, expectations, etc. My parents have also set up meetings with ppl they thought I’d like before

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Anonymous #20 4w

Hi are you male or female? What makes a marryable person?

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Anonymous #7 4w

pretty, honest, supportive, kind, humble, mature

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Anonymous #20 4w

Without one deems undesirable?

1