Anonymous #1 5d

How should women humble themselves to salvage their suffering relationships?

4

Anonymous #1 5d

What is the most common shortcoming women fail to see? Beauty, poor character, a lack of vocational success?

1

Anonymous OP 5d

Character

1

Anonymous #3 5d

That’s my perspective. The vast majority of people I’ve met undervalue themselves: men & women. And they actually seem to settle in relationships & become resentful because of it. It’s not what they want, but they think it’s the best they’re gonna get & it’s toxic asf.

0

Anonymous #4 5d

Lack of accountability is a generational problem if anything. I’ve met many men & women who refuse to apologize unless they had legit evil intentions & anything short of that “isn’t their fault”

5

Anonymous #5 5d

Obviously I’m not OP but I do have a question about this because I see it being brought up a lot. Women rate themselves higher but often spend more money on being considered attractive than men. (Hair, makeup, clothes etc). Do you think that plays a role?

1

Anonymous strawberry_hair 5d

I would say it’s girl culture that hypes each other up that contributes more imo

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Is it wrong to hype your friends up? Why would you assume it’s disingenuous to compliment your friends?

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I never said that lol

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Then why is it causing women to rate themselves higher? Friends giving you honest compliments should not raise your ego above & beyond what is normal.

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Idk where that assumption came from

3

Anonymous OP 5d

What are u even talking about I am so confused

2

Anonymous #3 5d

Because you make it seem like the women being hyped up don’t deserve to be hence “overrating” themselves. That’s not a positive thing.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I never said overrated

5

Anonymous #3 5d

Idk where these assumptions are coming from omg

4

Anonymous #3 5d

Og commenter said women rate themselves higher. You said it was because they get hyped up. If they justifiably get hyped up they rate themselves higher because they are just higher rated…

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I replied to strawbhair :)

8

Anonymous #3 5d

Who was talking about hair & makeup causing higher ratings & you said it was causes by hyping each other up…

1

Anonymous #3 5d

I just said being hyped up contributes to rating themselves higher (and higher self esteem)

3

Anonymous #3 5d

Ok u seem to just be looking for a fight ig??

6

Anonymous #3 5d

No, I’m talking about the conversation you entered into. If women DESERVE the hype, then they are not just rating themselves higher because of it. They are highly rated BY EVERYONE. not by themselves.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

Erm what? This isn’t about who deserves it it’s how they internalize it and give themselves their own value…

5

Anonymous #3 5d

If everyone agrees a woman is great, that’s not her rating herself higher due to hype, it’s because she IS that. UNLESS, the implication, is hype gives someone false confidence. in the context of MY post which is about women needing to “humble” themselves. It’s not rocket science.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I do sometimes think women hype up their friends to the point of over confidence where as guy friends while supportive or more inclined to tell their friend if they ain’t looking the best

1

Anonymous #3 5d

I just feel like u have an idea ur trying to push rn lol. U keep filling in gaps where there is nothing to be filled in

1

Anonymous #3 5d

#5 filled the gap.

1

Anonymous strawberry_hair 5d

Definitely but not to the degree some still rate themselves much higher even when they don’t do that

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Ur dodging your point. “Women get hyped up and rate themselves higher” implies it’s the “hype culture” not actual evaluation of character which makes a woman feel better about herself regardless of her character. That’s all.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

No one said everyone, I was more talking their friend group but I digress, I also disagree because there is no objective *IS* of attractiveness/worthiness

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I mean yea I think to an extent that is true. We see it a lot where men rate themselves lower than their peers and have very limited people hyping them up and helping build their self confidence.

1

Anonymous #3 5d

But there is no reason they are less worthy other than their self perception, which has been cultivated over time

1

Anonymous #3 5d

YOU agreed with my position that people undervalue themselves, I suggested that maybe men undervalue themselves more is because they do not get this support from peers

1

Anonymous #3 5d

I agreed that PEOPLE undervalue themselves, not that women rate themselves higher irregardless of their own self perception because their friends give them a compliment every once in a while

1

Anonymous #3 5d

NEEDING EXTERNAL VALIDATION ISSSS poor self perception

4

Anonymous OP 5d

It’s not irregardless tho? It impacts their self perception?

1

Anonymous OP 5d

It’s not needing omg if u think external validation doesn’t impact building internal validation idk what to tell u man

1

Anonymous #3 5d

If you think IG comments actually ~help~ a woman’s self perception & don’t make her dependent on external validation to feel good about her self worth we just disagree

3

Anonymous #3 5d

women can tell when other women aren’t being honest in their praise. it’s intuitive. if a woman constantly seeks reassurance from other’s her self-worth is not strong idc.

1

Anonymous OP 5d

I guess we just disagree lol.

1

Anonymous #3 5d

okay then, needing social media validation will never be a sign of strong self worth to me, but you are entitled to your opinion.

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Also I already clarified I was talking about friends

1

Anonymous #3 5d

But yk

1

Anonymous #3 5d

who don’t comment on things like ig posts? external validation can also come from friends. anyways 🙃

1

Anonymous OP 5d

No one said needing!!? I feel like u just pick apart what I say and add words. I said if someone gets hyped up by THEIR FRIENDS not on IG or snap but their actual friends, they will feel better about themselves with a good support system

1

Anonymous #3 5d

9/10 times people just become dependent on that validation to feel worthy. that’s not building a strong self worth to me. that’s eroding your sense of self worth. but please. ffs, we disagree. i get it. you can stop now.

1

Anonymous mryikyak 5d

i’m a woman asking a question about the language i’ve heard some men use (especially online) tried to keep my bias out of the main post at least

1

Anonymous #3 5d

Really? I’ve definitely had moments where I was like: I have to wear makeup to do an interview, or being asked if I look tired by men if I’m not wearing makeup. And in high school and middle school I got asked “what’s wrong” when I wore sweats. So to me, that plays a much larger portion.

1