Ask Men on Sidechat | I am so tired of being the only person my boyfriend can rely on emotionally. When I’m upset I can go to my friends, my sister, or my coworkers. When he’s upset he goes to me. I love being able to support him, it’s just exhausting. what if I want to leave?

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Ask Men 1w

I am so tired of being the only person my boyfriend can rely on emotionally. When I’m upset I can go to my friends, my sister, or my coworkers. When he’s upset he goes to me. I love being able to support him, it’s just exhausting. what if I want to leave?

Anonymous 1w

Men should have positive male groups like their friends, church, families etc they can go to and talk about things. Sadly many don’t have these things established. I don’t mean any of the women shade when I say this, but women are not going to fully understand where men are coming from just like men are never going to fully understand where women are coming from in this type of thing. We should both be humble and encourage one another to find community/places of genuine guidance.

Anonymous 1w

Mine was the same way. Eventually I had to sit down and talk with him because it was too much. And eventually I left him (for a sorta different reason). But yeah I’ve been there. I say have a serious talk with him about it, and if that doesn’t work, you may have to leave him. I didn’t mind being AN outlet, but my issue was that I was his only one and it became costly when I also have my own issues to deal with and I couldn’t handle both of us

Anonymous 1w

Then leave… that’s your decision to make. You’re not married, there’s no obligation to love him. I can understand why it would be hard on you if he has nobody else to go to. For him to go to you when he’s upset tho, he must feel safe with you.

Anonymous

#1 1w

And I appreciate that he feels safe with me, but I feel putting everything on one person is asking too much of them. I’m only one person. I love him and see a future with him but I genuinely cannot take it anymore and don’t want to be stuck taking care of his emotions for the rest of my life. It’s exhausting.

Anonymous

#2 1w

I’ll add this is the difference between attempting to empathize and being compassionate. When you’re being compassionate it requires the humility of knowing you don’t know, or don’t need to know exactly what someone is feeling in order to help them. Trying to completely empathize with someone often ends in two people who are depressed.

Anonymous

#2 1w

That’s funny bc we are two people who are depressed like clinically. That’s often the reason I have to emotionally support him. And I can empathize bc I have the same mental illness

Anonymous

OP 1w

I honestly can understand how you feel. My gf is way more emotional than I am, so I guess we’re in similar situations. Also she only feels comfortable going to me with a lot of what upsets her. It’s not exactly easy, but I’ve decided she’s worth it, so I take care of her. That said, you’re in a hard situation. You can’t really bring it up without causing problems in the relationship or a least the future of y’all’s relationship.