Ask Men on Sidechat | Why are gen z men so ambivalent when it comes to dating? Like wtf i could flirt all day long and some of these guys would never notice? Also, like why men so rarely follow through on actually going out? I thought men were supposed to go crazy for women 😭

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Ask Men 3w

Why are gen z men so ambivalent when it comes to dating? Like wtf i could flirt all day long and some of these guys would never notice? Also, like why men so rarely follow through on actually going out? I thought men were supposed to go crazy for women 😭

Anonymous 3w

1. Never notice due to being burned before by guessing wrong, or not knowing what flirting is 2. Idk perhaps those types of men have lots of options and ur not the priority? 3. Def am crazy but I also need effort back or im going to not pursue, unfortunately been stuck on someone who dgaf so been kinda shootin myself in the foot

Anonymous 3w

In my experience, unless they are very direct, women in general are not great at SHOWING interest subtly. What I’ve heard girls consider hints, I would put under behavior that barely gets a second thought. This is sort of in addition to what #1 said

Anonymous 2w

Some context on our perspective might help. Please hear me out and at least read 10, I promise I’m trying to help everyone involved. 1: much of this generation was taught that the worst possible thing we could do by accident was make a woman uncomfortable.

Anonymous 3w

most men don’t want to come off as creepy or egotistical so we don’t want to assume what you’re doing is to get our attention. generally we just assume you’re being nice and don’t ask further

Anonymous 3w

I can’t tell when someone is flirting and I’m not gonna pursue someone who ain’t trynna pursue me

Anonymous 3w

i think the flirting thing is because a lot of men are afraid that the hints are wrong. also some people just dont see hints very well, lmao. and as far as commitment and presence i think culturally people dont know what they want (specifically early on), so they get flaky

Anonymous 3w

What is “flirting” mean to most women?

Anonymous 2w

You can’t be serious

Anonymous 2w

Not a guy, but I genuinely can’t even tell if a guy is flirting/giving hints he likes me, or if he is just being nice. I’m pretty bad at figuring that out

Anonymous

#7 2w

2: we’ve all seen countless posts on the internet with 50k likes that said something like “I got approached by a MAN at the [place people commonly go]. Can you BELIEVE the AUDACITY?” 3: a lot of us don’t get flirted with often (sometimes ever) so we have no practice identifying it. Even if we notice, there’s a price for a false positive.

Anonymous

#7 2w

4: those ick videos told us that there are all kinds of land mines we can step on that ruin things, and that’s a scary spot to be in. 5: through all of this, the message from society has been that we’re lucky to have a girlfriend, that we need to constantly cater to her needs, and that she doesn’t need to bring anything to the table. 6: I’m going to be so real with you, sometimes he just isn’t that interested.

Anonymous

#7 2w

7: the sexes have a lot of discrepancies in our means of communication right now, so unless you know how to cut through that figuring out where the other person is at is a difficult thing to do. 8: sometimes we just don’t know what we want, and when you’re being asked to make a choice it can be difficult, particularly when you’re already friends with her.

Anonymous

#7 2w

9: a lot guys truly want what’s best for the women around them, but it’s very hard to differentiate ourselves from the guys who don’t and the commentary coming from women tells us that you can’t always see it either.

Anonymous

#7 2w

10: (most important) we know this isn’t your fault either. Nothing I’ve said is meant to make it seem like it’s your fault. You’ve grown up in the same world that we have and it wasn’t you that created it. The internet contributes to a lot of perceptions of the opposite sex that don’t match reality. A lot of the problems between men and women in our generation come from number 7.

Anonymous

#7 2w

It’s like we’re speaking past each other and on some level, that’s extremely discouraging. Your post tells me you feel it too. I’ll leave you with one last note: a lot of men feel the same way I do, but sometimes we can’t articulate it well. I promise we’re trying, but sometimes we do a poor job of it.