Anonymous #1 2w

yea that's kinda what i mean by "crush" like i don't feel all those like "crush feelings" but i do know i wouldn't mind dating him if he asked me

1

Anonymous OP 2w

ohhhh then yeah for me it was just sort of knowing that he was my person

1

Anonymous #2 2w

I don't mind at all! you can def ask any questions you want so we were friends first and he knew that I was aroace and I had pretty thoroughly explained what all of that meant for me. our relationship had also always been a little weird where we both knew he had feelings for me and we did a lot of traditional couple stuff like dates and I would say there was no formal confession we just sort of merged I guess lol

3

Anonymous #1 2w

we also talked a lot about the fact I can't truly reciprocate those same romantic feelings back and in return he's communicated the words and actions he needs to feel fulfilled. he's very respectful about my sexuality and understands I have some unusual boundaries bc of it

6

Anonymous #2 2w

omg you're totally good! oh that's hard to answer lol, I guess on a surface level the feelings I have towards him isn't any different than how I feel about my other close friends. but I just feel closer to him. like I'm kind of an avoidant person and I'm not good with physical contact but he's my exception to all of those. waking up beside him every day makes me so happy and comforted. and I don't feel claustrophobic the way I would if it was any other friend

3

Anonymous #1 2w

Thank you that definitely clears up a good amount for me! I also feel extremely comfortable around my friend and she also makes me super happy. I also find her attractive but not in a sexual manner. I also would not mind going on dates with her or spending the rest of my life with her. Should I tell her this? She's been going through a lot with school and she's going to be studying abroad soon, AND she's madly in love with her roommate☹️.

1

Anonymous #2 2w

But on the other hand I become distracted when I'm on the phone with her and sometimes get jealous when she talks about how in love she is with her roommate. But then I'm also friends with her roommate who is a great person. Can that lean more towards crush behavior or someone I just want in my life forever?

1

Anonymous #2 2w

maybe more towards crush with the jealousy? but there's such a thing as platonic crushes too you know your situation best but it def takes a certain kind of person to be with someone who's aromantic. not because we aren't good and valuable partners but there's certain needs we just aren't able to meet it's definitely not a straightforward situation

1

Anonymous #1 2w

Since the situation is very different should I voice it to her? I truly believe nothing will come of it other than a awkward conversation 😞

1

Anonymous #1 2w

how did you go about explaining you were aroace to him? i'm not sure how my friend feels about me but we've had our moments where i feel like he might like me but im not sure how to explain those feelings to him

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I mentioned it early on in our friendship and he asked a lot of questions which really helped in explaining it the way I explain asexuality is that I don't experience sexual attraction but I still have a libido and enjoy sex sometimes aromantic is more difficult but that i don't have romantic feelings for people and I don't get romantic urges either. like I want to do cute things for my partner but it's definitely different to romantic urges. but that doesn't make my love less or weaker

1

Anonymous OP 2w

so for me it was really just communicating that he was my favorite person in life and my priority. that I want to be his person and to spend my life with him like my feelings towards him are on a different wavelength then his feelings for me but that they have the same strength

1

Anonymous #2 2w

this might be a situation where it's best to give it some time you can do a lighter version where you communicate that she's a very important person in your life and just leave it at that for now

1