Anxiety on Sidechat | how do i not feel so anxious with my loving boyfriend? at first he didnt mind my anxiety, but its gotten to the point where it frustrates him and makes him feel inadequate. i cant control my trauma, but im trying to regulate it. but how?

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Anxiety 2w

how do i not feel so anxious with my loving boyfriend? at first he didnt mind my anxiety, but its gotten to the point where it frustrates him and makes him feel inadequate. i cant control my trauma, but im trying to regulate it. but how?

Anonymous 2w

I feel this. I have so many fears that my boyfriend gets annoyed with me that I even bring them up because according to him “they aren’t going to happen so it doesn’t pay to worry about them.” I know I’m not being helpful but just know you aren’t alone

Anonymous 2w

Im going through the same shit rn. Even when I am determined to regulate myself, the moment i am present with him it’s just impossible not to feel anxious. It has gotten to the point where i just prefer to pull away so i cant stop feeling so anxious about them not being able to help me. It’s bad bro. Idk.

Anonymous 2w

(look up ROCD)

Anonymous 2w

you CAN control your trauma

-4

Anonymous

#3 2w

You can’t control what your brain was wired to do through your entire lifetime. That takes YEARS of heavy proper therapy work and commitment, and even then it’s extremely easy to revive those nervous system signals with a person who triggers them, whether intentionally or not. You can probably hide it and pretend you aren’t dying inside, but that backfires down the line.

Anonymous

#2 2w

read the book called a new earth: awakening to your life’s purpose by eckhart tolle and youll understand.

-4

Anonymous

#4 2w

if that’s not ur pathology, the treatment is still the same. work on ur self esteem, emotional regulation when ur triggered, and do therapy with someone who can dispense CBT & a mindfulness practice. It’s not easy but it’s the way.

Anonymous

#3 2w

And you can control you stupid dumb ass comments that aren’t true but yet here we are

Anonymous

#3 2w

Read the book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, actual years of psychology research, not spiritualism, and you’ll understand. As I said, you can definitely try to learn how to self regulate and adopting purpose to improve, but there is no way to change your brain’s wiring solely by doing that. It requires years of therapy and the right people in your life.

Anonymous

#1 2w

and that’s why you’re depressed 😆

Anonymous

#3 2w

And that’s why you seem completely incompetent of basic human reasoning and understanding that spiritualism won’t rewire a traumatized nervous sustem

Anonymous

#2 2w

sorry that it hasn’t worked for you, best of luck!

Anonymous

#1 2w

no this makes me feel so much better, my boyfriend is the same way and thank you so much for understanding <3

Anonymous

#2 2w

im pulling away too, but we got this anon i hope! we’re making progress even if its bit by bit!

Anonymous

OP 2w

🫶🫶🫶