AITA on Sidechat | Gf slept in bed with gay bsf no heads up whatsoever and im out of town. I told her I don’t feel comfortable with that and she said it shouldn’t matter because "he’s obviously gay". I told her it’s a boundary for me in general and now she’s irritated.AITA?

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AITA 1d

Gf slept in bed with gay bsf no heads up whatsoever and im out of town. I told her I don’t feel comfortable with that and she said it shouldn’t matter because "he’s obviously gay". I told her it’s a boundary for me in general and now she’s irritated.AITA?

125

Anonymous 1d

Not at all if she can’t respect your boundaries she’s not mature enough for a relationship

128

Anonymous 14h

No she should care about your feelings and what you are uncomfortable with. It doesn’t matter that he is gay, she is not putting your relationship first

Anonymous 14h

Nah cuz some guys pretend to be gay for this

Anonymous 12h

#7 gotta me the most insufferable person at mtsu 😭

Anonymous 13h

NTA if you’ve set that boundary in advance you set it in advance and she should respect it

Anonymous 14h

You’re not, she is though because I would never do anything my man was uncomfortable with, she respects her gay friend more than she respects you which may lead to cheating in the future. If she’s okay with keeping things from you and she sees that you’d just let it slide she may act on other things too

Anonymous 13h

you’re not the AH for setting boundaries but i do think that this something that should be dropped once you’ve come to a resolution if it wasn’t a boundary you’d already set. sometimes people don’t think and make mistakes 🤷🏻‍♀️ you have a right to be upset but i wouldn’t let this become a bigger issue than it needs to be

Anonymous 7h

Idk but if I slept with a lesbian I think I would hear about it ….

Anonymous 13h

Bro she’s playing you he’s probably not even gay

Anonymous 12h

If you voiced your concern ahead of time she’s in the wrong if you expected her to just read your mind you’re in the wrong communication is key

Anonymous 12h

Same thing as sharing a bed with her straight female friends

Anonymous 13h

YTA

-9

Anonymous

#1 13h

Not all “boundaries” are reasonable. It’s immature and extremely insecure to care about this

-23

Anonymous

#2 13h

If she were uncomfortable with him having female coworkers and it made her feel bad, should he quit his job?

-21

Anonymous

#7 13h

completely different situation, he isnt saying she cant be friends with the dude, just not sleep in the bed with him

Anonymous

#8 13h

That’s the freaking point. just saying something is a “boundary” doesn’t make it reasonable. Getting upset over sleeping in bed with your gay best friend is ridiculous. I would instantly break up with a man who tried to police me like this

-19

Anonymous

#7 13h

You don’t have to agree with your partners boundaries but you have to respect them otherwise don’t be in a relationship with them

Anonymous

#7 13h

I’m sure you’d also instantly break up with a guy who slept in bed with his lesbian best friend

Anonymous

#7 13h

Hence why u single u dumb donut

Anonymous

#4 12h

exactly what i was thinking and clearly what #7 never considered. must be the gf😂 i would never sleep in a bed with another man

Anonymous

#7 12h

Imma be real dude if i monogamously dated somebody and they DIDNT ask if i was chill w them cuddling someone, something seen as romantic especially in this culture, i’d feel a little hurt. Which is funny because i’d be totally chill w it!! If they *specifically* asked if it was okay to cuddle someone. The kind of thing BOTH sides need to communicate before it becomes an issue.

Anonymous

#7 12h

Ratio

Anonymous

#7 12h

Ratio again bozo

Anonymous

#7 12h

RATIOOO

Anonymous

#1 12h

nope, but nice assumption with no real argument

-10

Anonymous

#9 12h

lmao is that supposed to be an insult? this post is reason #638294 why men aren’t worth it

-10

Anonymous

#16 12h

you should never have to voice to your partner that you don’t want them sleeping with the opposite gender…common sense ain’t common

Anonymous

#13 12h

Every relationship is different

Anonymous

#16 12h

if my bf told me he sometimes sleeps with his lesbian gf i’d consider that a red flag. the same way this is a red flag. yall are weird

Anonymous

#7 12h

Something tells me you’ve never been in a happy and loving relationship

Anonymous

#13 12h

Right people are too concerned with being the cool girlfriend/boyfriend that lets their partner do anything.

Anonymous

_coyote_ugly_ 11h

Every single one of my close friends is the opposite gender as me and although we haven’t slept in the same bed they have stayed at my place and my partner and I had an honest conversation before hand knew the guys and most importantly trusted me. I understand everyone’s boundaries are different but you can expect people to read your mind you have to have the hard conversations

Anonymous

#16 11h

Very true

Anonymous

#6 11h

not being okay with your partner sleeping in bed with the opposite sex regardless of sexual orientation should not be a boundary that has to be set. it’s actually just basic respect to not be cuddling with the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship

Anonymous

#17 11h

i don’t know them or their relationship. different people are okay with different things. i also don’t see anything about them cuddling in the original post (i could be wrong as i haven’t read the comments). for all we know there could’ve been a wall of pillows between them. the og poster asked if they were an asshole, not if their partner was. i see where you’re coming from but simply and respectfully disagree.

Anonymous

#16 10h

staying at your place and sleeping in the same bed is two different things though…

Anonymous

#16 10h

I agree and that’s great for your relationship it’s a good example of good communication and trusting one another but when and where did I say word for word that “I expect couples to read each other’s mind.” I am aware that communication is a key component to a healthy relationship. So idk if your agreeing and just adding to what I said or trying to inform me that “I can’t expect couples to read each others mind.”