My bff showed up late to a bday party everyone was already at to introduce us to her bf for the 1st time (I’ve already met him bc we used to all work together)… when they showed up, I greeted them at the door and she asked where my bf was and I told him he was busy and couldn’t make it. She was disappointed bc she really wanted our bf’s to meet

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After we caught up for a bit, I went back to join the drinking game I had abruptly got up from when I said hi to her and sat back in the only empty seat on the couch next to my guy bff who I’ve known longer than her. Him and I are so close that we’re basically siblings, and we tell people at the bars that we are so that people don’t think we’re together in case he needs me to wingwoman and is afraid girls will think I’m with him (that part wasn’t important but that’s how close we are lol)

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Me having a guy bff has never been an issue for my boyfriend (I’ve asked a million times and he genuinely loves the guy and is happy when my guy bff is around, especially if my bf can’t always be with me)… BUT my girl bff from the past 3 years used to have a crush on him before she started dating her current bf, but my guy bff rejected her

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Ever since he rejected her, she’s denied ever having feelings for him and always says she thinks he’s single bc he really just wants me… she’s made several backhanded comments about my friendship with him that always came off as jealousy to me, but I always let it slide

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At this bday party though, she was standing in the kitchen with her bf after I sat back down bc she didn’t want to join our game, and she was pointing out everyone to her bf and giving him some background context for each person at the party

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I overheard her say “no, that’s just how she always is when her boyfriend’s not around” while she was motioning towards me

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Out of a respect for all of my friends (bday boy and my bff included) I did not blow up in the moment and did not confront her in front of everyone at the party. She continued talking to her bf in the kitchen and eventually motioned for me to come talk to her

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I got up from my game again to talk to her and she made a bunch of comments about how much I was drinking and told me I should take a break, and when I said I was fine, she started scolding me saying if my bf was here I wouldn’t be acting this way and yada yada

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She left to go home soon after that bc she had only shown up to wish our friend a happy bday and introduce her bf to everyone… she’s told me to text her when I got home safe later that night and I did

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In the morning, she replied “well at least you even made it home, and safe” which kinda rubbed me the wrong way so I asked if everything between us was good… she’s told said “yeah😂 I was just concerned about you”

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So I figured it was a good time to bring up her comment at the party, which to me felt like she was calling me a 2faced hoe by tell her bf that I’m one way when my bf’s around and another way/super close with my guy bff when my bf isn’t there

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So I asked her about what she had said and she got super defensive and blew up at me saying I was jumping to conclusions and twisting her words and she was just worried about me but I was thinking the worst of her if I thought she was dragging my name thru the mud

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I tried to explain to her that if that’s not what she meant by the comment then it was fine, I just didn’t have context and was curious bc the part that I did hear hurt my feelings, and she continued to argue with me saying I didn’t hear the full sentence

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She said she made the comment in regards to how close I was to my guy bff bc according to her, her bf assumed my guy bff was my boyfriend, even though I had told them my bf wasn’t going to be at the party

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Which I understand my bff trying to correct her bf, I appreciate that, but I just felt like the wording had a negative connotation and so I was just trying to tell her it hurt my feelings

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She doubled down though, and this conversation became circular for the remainder of the day. She continued to say she didn’t mean it but she already said she was sorry and I should just drop it. But she was saying I needed to acknowledge her feelings in all of this, not the other way around

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I felt like maybe she listening to what I was saying but wasn’t quite comprehending what I meant, so I told her I would like to take some time to cool down and revisit things at a later when I wasn’t as busy (I have 2 exams, 2 full days of volunteering, a formal banquet, and an essay due this week)

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She got really upset saying she didn’t want to have this conversation again and if we were gonna move on I just needed to drop it. But I don’t know how to go back to having a normal friendship with her if she won’t recognize she hurt my feelings… it’s hard to tell this story thru text but the whole thing just felt like she was trying to blame shift and manipulate the situation and it just left a bad taste in my mouth and kinda turned me off in regards to her being my bff

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So I silenced her notifications bc I have a lot of things to do this week that I need to prioritize l, but continuing to have her argue with me has been emotionally and mentally exhausting

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But now she’s even more mad bc I let our snap streak end (which yes to be fair it was a long streak but also… it’s just a snap streak???)

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AITA for wanting space and not feeling like she understands how she painted me in a bad light? Am I crazy? Cause this isn’t the first time I’ve suspected her of talking bad about me to my friends when I’m not around, so it’s kinda hard to trust her if we move forward

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Not reading all those. If you “think” you should confirm it straight up with her. Get a therapist tho because you need someone to talk to and validate u

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