Anonymous #4 4w

Unfortunately she is beyond delusional atp !! So honestly you’re better off finding someone that isn’t as hopelessly devoted to disrespect! She’s gonna need a helluvah lot of therapy once 10 years hits and she finally realizes (let’s pray she does by then anyway.. looking like she’ll be a forever gf atp)

29

Anonymous OP 4w

You seem to resent her vs holding compassion and respect for her. I get it if shes a bad friend and disrespectful to you, but talking about her like this just for having a bad bf is weird to me and bad friend behavior

1

Anonymous #5 4w

I think it’s just the lack of context. I almost made another comment cause I felt like I was giving that off. We are still good friends with her and to her, we just don’t really talk about him anymore because it is frustrating for him to literally explicitly break up with her and fuck around with his ex in front of her and she still lives with him and pays his mortgage (they’re back together now). I don’t resent HER, I have so much respect for her bc she’s so smart and such a girl boss, it’s-

20

Anonymous OP 4w

-just so disappointing that I can be so supportive of her despite the bullshit she drags herself thru... and that's her reaction to something that's supposed to be happy for me. She was the first person to reach out abt it and the first thing she says is "[other friend] put me in a fucking straight jacket." Like what????

26

Anonymous OP 4w

Also then this in the same convo😐

17

Anonymous #5 4w

Hey so you're kinda acting like the friend didn't just try to push her issues onto her friend instead of just a simple "Congratulations" like a good friend would say!

10

Anonymous #7 4w

Without context, the fact of the matter is that this friend is the weird and bad friend because she not only cant seem to give a kind genuine reaction to the news of her friend's engagement but also tried to make it some sort of competition to be engaged.

8

Anonymous #7 4w

True I kinda forgot abt the weird comments the friend made when I made my comment. Context def does help. OP is not the AH

1

Anonymous OP 4w

Yeahhh my bad OP I forgot abt the friend being weirdly jealous and mean abt your engagement. You’re not in the wrong tho I can still sympathize with both of you, the friend is delusional

6

Anonymous #5 4w

Honestly you’re probably kinda right that I’m starting to resent her for it. Like I WANT her to be happy but she just won’t leave the literal landfill she’s with bc she’s still expecting he’ll turn into a flowerbed or something!! So I also understand your POV and I appreciate you pointing it out. She was going to be a bridesmaid but my coworker said she sounds like the kind of person to cause issues and I don’t want to let that negativity in my head but I’m kinda scared of it too tbh😬

4

Anonymous #5 4w

Or at least like maybe this popped the resentment cherry🥲so now ig I gotta talk to her abt it or something probably

3

Anonymous #6 4w

This is 😢 mean. Just be kind. Maybe she doesn’t know how to deal with feelings about these changes with her friend. Some people have a hard time expressing their feelings so she just says weird random things to avoid what she is thinking. I think if you give her the proper response and make her realize you about her still she would mellow out instead of feeling replaced.

5

Anonymous #9 3w

I have an idea… what if you and your new girl take her and her significant other out for a weekend trip. Plan lots of activities together and get to know them more as a couple. Maybe she would be willing to open up about how he has been treating her. Maybe this is the problem.

-1

Anonymous #2 3w

huh

0

Anonymous #2 3w

Yeah so I have known her (and subsequently him) for many years longer than I’ve even known my own STB fiancé. Second to last time I saw him he refused to speak to me or even make eye contact with me (and we have never had any confrontation or reason for him to be that way). Last time I saw them they came to the mutual friend’s party and he didn’t make effort to interact w any of us, he doesn’t care abt her interests or friends enough to make any sort of effort

3

Anonymous #2 3w

Basically, he sucks! And she’s amazing! She’s just so dedicated to this idea of being with him and I think it’s also a bit of a sunk cost fallacy for her. I don’t know if he’s also manipulating her bc I know he has said explicitly gross things to her but for some reason she still believes there’s a chance she can “fix” him or he still loves her despite him saying the opposite. And he can’t get game anywhere else so he continues to string her along and let her be obsessed w him.

6

Anonymous OP 3w

The truth is just that she deserves someone as obsessed with her as she is with him, but you can only lead a horse to water, yk? She will eventually realize it’s not the ideal relationship, and I just hope it’s not too late when she does. I was just really in my feels because although I know how frustrating and painful it probably is for her I just wanted her to be as happy and supportive of me as I have always tried to be for her regardless of his bullshit

6

Anonymous OP 3w

I’m not reading all this aren’t you asking if ur not the AH, I told you that you’re not the AH and now you’re defending her?

1

Anonymous #9 3w

Naur friend. You shouldn’t even reply if you’re not gonna read it bc I clearly was replying to 2 and not u lol

1

Anonymous OP 3w

You are an amazing human! I am glad she has you as a friend. I hope she finds the right guy! Maybe you should just copy this in a note for her. It would be a treasure and make her feel her worth, I would think.

1