AITA on Sidechat | I don’t get why people are obsessed with having “their own biological” kid. There’s so many ways to have a kid even if it’s harder. AITA

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AITA 3w

I don’t get why people are obsessed with having “their own biological” kid. There’s so many ways to have a kid even if it’s harder. AITA

Anonymous 3w

Why would people not want to have their own children. Seriously what is the issue with that, why are you even mad? If they have health issues or there’s fertility problems then yeah of course there are options available but like damn

Anonymous 3w

I don’t think people are ‘obsessed’ with having a biological kid, it’s just that people want that for themselves and that is completely normal/natural. I don’t think pressing people who want biological kids to adopt/foster will help anyone. Sincerely, an adoptee

Anonymous 3w

I understand both sides to the argument but I think it’s normal and natural to want biological children, and the desire to have kids isn’t always the same thing as willingness to adopt a child. Adoption is a a whole thing that entails a lot more than just “having a kid.” But I do wish more kids could get out of foster care and into permanent loving homes.

Anonymous 3w

what happens when you propagandize the nuclear family model for decades

Anonymous 3w

I totally agree that the obsession can be a bit much, but adoption isn't straightforward. Even for infants, there are difficult conversations and feelings that some parents may never be ready for. IVF in my opinion is a great thing for some couples and if it works, then it works.

Anonymous 3w

i mean not everybody wants to have a kid just to have a kid. i want my kid to be a mini-me of me and my husband, but if we can’t have biological kids then i don’t want children enough to seek alternative methods. i think shaming people for using alternative methods is VERY wrong, but at the same time so is shaming somebody for wanting a kid that is their own flesh and blood.

Anonymous 3w

ok but like i get it. there are enough kids in orphanages and in foster care that IVF kinda doesn’t need to exist. help the kids already alive

Anonymous 3w

i don't get why you are bothered by people wanting their own biological child. fuck off

Anonymous 3w

I can see both sides to this tbh. Like yes those kids absolutely deserve to have a family and be loved and cared for! However I can also see how (especially a woman) would want to have the feeling of carrying a life and committing to a process not every woman is blessed to go through especially if they have struggled in the past. Also adoption can be hard. In fact in many cases it's been found that ivf can be cheaper than traditional adoption which is unfortunate

Anonymous 3w

Agree. No one is entitled to biological children. If you really want to be a parent then spend the money on adoption, not IVF. If you’re a good parent you’ll be able to give any child a good life, not just a child with your genes. we don’t need more people, we need to give already living children a good life

Anonymous 3w

It’s literally the only reason any animal is Alive…..

-1

Anonymous

#5 3w

People are too obsessed with spreading their mid genes “for their legacy” which is literally just like a factory worker and a janitor. It’s not like you’re royalty. They just want babies for an accessory

Anonymous

#6 3w

Why is everyone on YikYak illiterate. Your argument has nothing to do with this post. If you can’t have a biological child then there are other options. You don’t need to waste money on IVF to bring another child into the world when there’s already so many children who need homes. No one is saying “ew sex bad don’t have it”

-5

Anonymous

#6 3w

we have so may people already… IVF doesn’t NEED to happen imo

Anonymous

#5 3w

I’m saying we’re biologically programmed to want to pass on our own genes

Anonymous

#6 3w

Well no. If you need your own shitty genes to love your child then you shouldn’t be a parent. If your genes can’t be passed down then maybe they weren’t good enough to be passed down anyway if you wanna get biological about it

Anonymous

#1 3w

Nah but too much I see people like “I don’t wanna adopt I NEED my own kid” and throw money into IVF and other stuff and I’m like…. Dude adopting isn’t THAT bad it’s less taxing on your BODY and HEALTH?!

Anonymous

OP 3w

Indeed what I mean by health and/or fertility issues, and in cases where there are certain negative genes you or your partner could possibly pass down

Anonymous

#5 3w

Bro shut the fuck up and stop thinking so emotional. The only reason sex feels so good and we have such a high drive is because biologically we are programmed to do it as much as possible to have our own kids.

-1

Anonymous

OP 3w

In that case I do agree with you, but I don’t think the original goal to have your own children is negative at all, but the context is always important

Anonymous

#2 3w

exactly. especially being someone who sees the direct impact of people not adopting, it makes me angry at couples who choose ivf. Especially if they’re pro life

-4

Anonymous

#6 3w

ideally with higher levels of education we are able to be more intelligent and realize the impact of bringing more kids into the world instead of ivf.

Anonymous

#6 3w

did you know animals also adopt other animals? there’s enough of us on the earth for people to adopt and make a difference. no shit that mating keeps our species alive, but dumb people do that every day when they aren’t ready. trust bro we aren’t going extinct because of this any time soon.

Anonymous

#5 3w

#6 never finished HS 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous

#6 3w

Why are you actually illiterate. You can’t understand a single sentence

Anonymous 3w

Hey I’m op and I don’t think you answered the question at all. You also spelled the R word wrong (only one word) but if you had a brain you’d know not to use that word. You can go we don’t want you here #6! :)

Anonymous

#7 3w

It’s not but if someone wants a kid THAT bad, it’s worth it. IVF if an option for people who want the FEELING of birth and the BABY and that it’s a genetic match. I’d even argue that people who do IVF are not in it for the right reasons. It’s about the child’s welfare not our wants as the parents.

-11

Anonymous

OP 3w

Okay but adoption isn't as simple as signing papers. It's long, it's expensive, and there are so many things that come with adoption that you don't face through ivf. You also have to think about finances. My parents were fortunate and their ivf was covered by their insurance. They wouldn't have been able to have kids if they weren't covered because of how expensive adoption is. And without ivf, I wouldn't have been born.

Anonymous

#6 3w

you're biologically programmed to enjoy opioids too. does that mean you should go inject heroin?

Anonymous

#8 3w

I don't feel like women should be shamed for wanting to experience pregnancy and I also feel like they shouldnt make a lot of adoption processes so difficult that it eventually becomes a turn off for people to even consider

Anonymous

#7 3w

100% agree with everything you’ve said. Adoption is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE. Mine was ~20,000 dollars, I am sure it is worse now. Not to mention, cultural differences between adoptees and their adoptive families. It is far from an ‘easy’ process

Anonymous

#9 3w

100%

Anonymous

#5 3w

Nobody is entitled to anything though- both ways parents have to pay to have a child, and the difference in price points can be significant. If parents find one cheaper than the other (IVF/IUI is generally less expensive) then they can go down that avenue if they so please

Anonymous

#3 3w

A single cycle of IVF can be 15-30k. That doesnt even include the birthing /hospital visits and evrything else you need to buy. WYM that’s extremely expensive compared to IVF

-2

Anonymous

OP 3w

When my parents started ivf, my state made it mandatory that insurance covers it. These days it's a lot more common for insurance agencies to cover ivf. You wanna know what isn't insured? Adoption.

Anonymous

#5 3w

your parents shoulda followed your mentality. world would be better without stupid fuck asses like you in it.

Anonymous

#2 3w

as a product of IVF go fuck yourself

Anonymous

#11 3w

I’m bothered that there are other solutions besides overpopulation, and abandoning kids. Especially when they’re pro life.