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AITA icon
AITA 5w
alright yall i need your help aita for telling a guy who lives 11+ hours away that i don’t want to be in a relationship with him after a week of talking, i did want it at the beginning but i had a change of mindset and just realized it wouldn’t work
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38
upvote 388 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

NTA that’s fair

upvote 238 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

NTA it sounds like you dodged a bullet

upvote 148 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

nta but only if you’ve let him know that you had a change of heart, you can’t be faulted for feeling differently it’s just how you go abt letting other ppl know

upvote 108 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

No. You can change your mind at any point in time and 11+ hours away isn’t going to work anyway

upvote 35 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

lol 11+ hours is hell

upvote 31 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

no! he'll appreciate it hopefully. I would—MUCH better than being vague as fuck

upvote 23 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

nta better sooner than later

upvote 20 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Nta, you communicated to him that you changed your mind, you didn’t ghost him and your reasons are valid concerns

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

alright here’s an update he is drunk texting and trying to call me right now, telling me how much he misses me. i’m not entertaining it or anything but it makes me feel so so bad like i ruined his life.

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

Nah you owe him your life now

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

A week of talking is basically nothing

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

you’re nta but you’re an asshole for not thinking shit thru

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

No lol he’ll survive, just make sure he doesn’t think it was him problem. Just be honest

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

NTA

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

No

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 5w

aita for changing my mind? No.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

Nta at all, gotta speak your truth 🫶 you'd be an asshole if you led him on and didn't tell him ur not interested anymore

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

NTA though you sound naive

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

NTA. Personally, I like to see how someone is in different situations before I can commit to that. How do they act around their friends? How do they act around your friends? What about when you’re with just them? How do they react when you’re mad at them or vice versa? Can they accept that they’re wrong when proven or do they double down? Stuff like that. A week of talking is not going to show all of that. But that’s me, personally.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 5w

i did tell him and i let him know that it actually wasn’t anything against him, but he’s making me feel like satan for it and crashing out. mind you i’ve only known him for a week

upvote 145 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

sounds like he has some other things going on that aren’t your problem - you’re fine

upvote 96 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 5w

thank god

upvote 49 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #9 5w

this ^

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

Girl block him and keep it pushing.

upvote 25 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #11 5w

i fear if i blocked him he’d die😭 we aren’t talking regularly but he’s been checking up on me

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #8 5w

THANK YOU he was mad bc my message seemed “thought out” and was asking if i felt this way the whole time😭

upvote 23 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #14 5w

Does it really matter what he thinks though?

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #17 5w

i know

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 5w

How did she dodge a bullet? She didn’t say anything about what the guy did, just that she changed her mind?

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #18 5w

i think they are just saying i dodged a bullet bc he got so upset after just a week of talking.

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 5w

bingo

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #21 4w

please elaborate? i swear im not being rude i just want to know ur reasoning!

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I wouldn’t think you were being rude it’s ok❤️ It just sounds like a younger person with less relationship experience is writing this. Especially with the way relationships turn sour even being in close proximity. The thing that keeps most long distance relationships afloat is the fact that you couldn’t get on each others nerves as much as and it is effortless to maintain multiple relationships with different people in this dynamic.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #21 4w

When you say it wouldn’t work you probably realized why all the people in his city passed over him too

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #21 4w

yeah this makes a lot of sense lol, in theory long distance would be nice because of that reason but i’d rather have someone here getting in my nerves than not being able to fully trust someone.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Girl do not blame yourself for that shit!! You're clearly not the first person he's done this to if he's acting this way after ONE week of talking 😭 something is wrong with that guy and it is so not your fault and most definitely not your problem.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Girl u did not ruin his life. I promise. He will be alright. He’s a big boy, he might not like it but he will recover with time.

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

you'd probably do the same if the situation was flipped. yea he'll be aite

upvote 1 downvote