Anonymous #1 1d

I very much like this take. I think the next point would be. I feel like I’d see her different. If she actually chose to do that. And cut these two friends off

148

Anonymous #2 1d

Tyty

4

Anonymous #5 1d

She’s been friends with them since freshman year. I’ve met both of them. It’s all very platonic. And she literally calls them her brothers. I would definitely say he doesn’t have a valid reason as he hasn’t even met them yet so see how they all interact. And no she wouldn’t make him cut girls off without ever meeting them. We’ve always talked about not wanting to make someone we’re in a relationship with change

77

Anonymous #3 1d

And that’s exactly what he said

20

Anonymous #4 1d

Agreed. She hasn’t given him any reason to think that she’s doing something wrong. So I feel like for him to say that. Is kinda crazy

22

Anonymous OP 1d

She needs to lock in and stop seeking guy attention that’s not from her bf

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Anonymous #3 1d

Stop seeking attention?? They’re friends and have been for a very long time

27

Anonymous OP 1d

Guys aren’t friends with girls if they had the chance they would

5

Anonymous #3 1d

Okay cool 🫩

18

Anonymous OP 1d

I’ve had an ex a few years ago that went and dated her literal step brother after me lmao, I’ll never believe the “they’re like brothers” excuse

76

Anonymous #3 1d

it is so incredibly normal to be sexually attracted to a friend and also have no actual desire to start a sexual relationship with them

5

Anonymous #6 1d

Bestie who ????

19

Anonymous #7 1d

Ooh 🫠 um yeah that’s insane. But I genuinely believe her when she says this. Speaking as someone who has talked to her about them on a deep level as her best friend

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Anonymous OP 1d

Then you’re NTA. But, her bf isn’t one either because in a relationship, there does need to be boundaries. If her partner shares that he’s uncomfortable with her and these guys, then she needs to respect that. However, this also doesn’t mean completely cutting them off (and if that’s what her bf expects, then that’s just toxic). It just means not hanging out with them one on one and just being respectful of the fact that she’s in a relationship.

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Anonymous #5 1d

See I totally agree with you. Sharing a concern you have and asking not to be alone when hanging out with them is kinda valid. But he asked her to completely cut them off. Him or them type thing

38

Anonymous #6 1d

Bro lock in they obviously mean they’ve known their friend for ten years not that it’s been 10 years since college

19

Anonymous #8 1d

I’m sorry but idk if it’s “normal” to be sexually attracted to your friends. Thoughts like this make that boyfriend’s sentiments completely valid- how would you feel if your partner had friends they were sexually attracted to (or friends that were attracted to them) while you two were together?

14

Anonymous #13 1d

Good for her. But this is what also makes it worse is. He hasn’t even met them. Just know about them. And already wants her to cut them off

4

Anonymous OP 1d

Exactly and there were also other issues but that was one of them and im glad she's not the type to choose a guy over her friends yk

1

Anonymous OP 1d

“Brothers” yeah she a goer

13

Anonymous #14 1d

A man’s worst enemy is there girlfriends best friend

0

Anonymous #3 1d

A woman with no woman friends is my worst enemy

12

Anonymous #7 1d

ME EITHER CAUSE THEY NEVER TURN OUT TO BE JUST BROTHERS LOLLL

4

Anonymous #15 23h

Your friend should probably cut you off too

0

Anonymous OP 23h

Yeah, cutting them off is a bit ridiculous. You gave her a good warning/advice as her friend and now it’s up to her to do what she thinks is best. I’d recommend she have a long conversation with her bf about his “insecurities.” There’s not much else you can do. Just watch out for her if anything happens.

4

Anonymous #17 23h

It's not a good thing or a bad thing (unless you're attracted to family, F u, that's disgusting), it's human. Men and women can be acquaintances, but once they form a deep, emotional bond, the man will start to become attracted to the woman. No matter what she says, or what those guys say, they are just waiting for their turn.

1

Anonymous #10 23h

i would feel weird if my partner brought that up to me explicitly, for sure. but in general, sexual attraction is just an impulse. i cannot reasonably expect that my partner finds nobody else attractive. i can only expect them not to act on it (or want to act on it) my aim was to counter the idea that guys and girls cant be friends by pointing out that they can genuinely just be friends even when there's passive sexual attraction involved. the bond of friendship can easily override that impulse

1

Anonymous #8 23h

im aware that sexual attraction doesnt work like that for everyone. but for many, it's purely physical and indiscriminate. it just happens. it's unfair to expect a partner to quell it somehow, but it is fair to expect them to be loyal in mind and action

4

Anonymous #8 23h

anyway, main point: straight guys and straight girls can easily be friends and it often says a lot about a person if they think that's impossible

8

Anonymous #8 22h

But you wouldn't want your partner to consistently have to face that temptation and I don't think that's unreasonable. Like as a man, I'm not about to be hanging around a bunch of girls or in the face a lot because it's not about what I know is or isn't going on, it's about proving that to my girlfriend. If it's nothing going on between her and her friends, her hanging around boys less 1 on 1 shouldn't be a hard sacrifice to make, especially for them either if they don't like her or anything

1

Anonymous #10 21h

if you have genuine worries, then it makes sense to set that boundary with a partner. otherwise i see no need, particularly if the friendship predates the relationship nearly all of my close friends are fem-presenting. i happen to find some of them attractive, and that's it. no temptation, nobody knows. i'd be ok not seeing them 1-on-1 except when i need to confide in one of them. but i do not let partners restrict how much i interact with my closest friends without a very good reason

1

Anonymous #19 21h

NTA btw, I don’t think her BF should be telling her who she can and can’t be friends with. I dont think his fear is unfounded, but at most he can share his feelings about it, but at the end of the day he should trust her and support her decisions.

1

Anonymous #17 19h

No I think people become attracted to family because they’re degenerate freaks lmao.

1

Anonymous #5 19h

bro you just contradicted your own statement. theres boundaries in for a reason, if my partner doesn’t respect it then there’s no point of going through with the relationship lol

1

Anonymous OP 18h

Depends on if the reason is valid tho, like personally idc how long my girl has had her friends, if they are a negative influence or have no respect for her dating life or me for that matter then it’s a different story yk

26

Anonymous #24 18h

I agree, but this is more so about giving advice to ur friend. You can’t really make someone do anything they don’t want to ykwim

6

Anonymous #20 15h

I completely agree with you. However, my point is still true. Look up “Genetic Sexual Attraction” (GSA). Conditions (and disorders) like that wouldn't exist if men and women could simply be friends WITHOUT some sort of attraction towards them.

1

Anonymous #3 14h

Hot take

1

Anonymous #21 2h

not weird, lowkey insecure.

1