AITA on Sidechat | my bf told me he’s going on a trip W his ex (he dated her for 2 weeks) 2 other girl bsfs and 2 guys. he says it’s strictly platonic. and no i was not invited. he said they’ve had sleepovers before and nothing happened. i obv crashed out so.. AITA?

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AITA 2w

my bf told me he’s going on a trip W his ex (he dated her for 2 weeks) 2 other girl bsfs and 2 guys. he says it’s strictly platonic. and no i was not invited. he said they’ve had sleepovers before and nothing happened. i obv crashed out so.. AITA?

Anonymous 1w

I almost had a heart attack reading this. Absolutely NTA this is literally my worst nightmare

Anonymous 1w

Yikes nta. Time to put him at an ultimatum and leave him if he decides to go. Im so fr girl run

Anonymous 1w

I think your crash out is justified but also did he invite her or did she get invited but somebody else? What were their vibes before & after dating? How does your BF act around other girls when you’re not around. Gotta consider those kind of things.

Anonymous 1w

Girl I’m begging you please LEAVE HIM. A real bf would only be going on trips with his GF or family

Anonymous 1w

You have every right to feel like he crossed a boundary when considering whatever you’ve experienced in life. But you 100% did say a real BF should only vacation with you or fam. Regardless, my point stands (and you’re exhibit A sorry) you didn’t consider the history. Are these random girls? Have they been tight since long before you? Was it his choice to bring the girls? Etc.

Anonymous 1w

we really need to talk about something serious, send a dm

-1

Anonymous

#1 1w

i told him it was mine and he thought i was joking 😒😒😒😒😒

Anonymous

OP 1w

Tell him you’re planning a trip to Miami with a group of your guy friends and see how he reacts then that’s just ridiculous smh

Anonymous

#3 1w

With no further context, to me this is not a red flag. If somebody wants to cheat, they will find a way no matter what. So the fact that he told you she was going on the trip is a good sign in my eyes (again, with no further context)

Anonymous

#4 1w

What if these girls were his childhood best friends? What if these girls were invited by other people and OP just couldn’t go? A “real” GF would not limit her BF’s vacations to just her and family, she would actually consider the situation at hand. And after all that, maybe her crash out IS valid. But limiting his vacations to you and family is controlling AF

Anonymous

#3 1w

I never said she should be restricting him what I meant was that most guys in relationships would be going on vacation with their gfs and definitely not their exes. Going on vacation with an ex feels like a serious boundary crossed

Anonymous

#3 1w

I said WOULD not SHOULD there’s a difference. The girl bfs aren’t a big deal I think it’s clearly the ex that’s bothering OP

Anonymous

#4 1w

No shit the other bf’s are irrelevant and that it’s the ex that’s the subject of this but the ex is one of the girls. You’re missing the point entirely. You’re telling OP what she should do AS IF YOU KNOW THE FULL STORY instead of giving examples on how details could change the scenario. Like if my BF is going on a trip & somebody else invites his ex, that’s not on him and I shouldn’t force him to stay home. I SHOULD trust that he will be loyal. And if I don’t have that trust, wtf am I (1/2)

Anonymous

#4 1w

I’ll rephrase it to a real bf would only be going on trips with his gf, family and friends. Definitely not an ex

Anonymous

#3 1w

(2/2) doing with him?? He could just go out and fuck his ex while I’m at work or out with the girls or something.

Anonymous

#3 1w

OP is allowed to feel uncomfortable with it no matter how the ex got invited

Anonymous

#4 1w

Missed the point again. OP should be considering all of the variables, not just what are in this post.

Anonymous

#3 1w

Dude you’re so dumb lol you’re all “what if this what if that” stick to the point. OP is not okay with her bf going on a trip with his ex. He either needs to respect her boundaries or they’re just not right for each other period

Anonymous

#4 1w

OP is literally asking us if her crashout was valid and I said yes but did you consider XYZ. Because if she did, then maybe her crashout is not as valid as she initially thought. Stop trying to be right so hard and just listen. This isn’t a “one right decision” situation

Anonymous

#3 1w

it was all a group planned thing. they’ve been friends since august. and have had multiple issues friendship wise. which then made me confused as to why he would want to go on a trip w these women. and ur absolutely right ab the cheating thing!

Anonymous

#3 1w

also the ex is in their friend group. and they all hate her but continue to hang out w her and act like they like her. 😭 but it makes me think he’s saying one thing to me and another thing to them

Anonymous

OP 1w

Ok so with this information, I do agree that this is not cool. They all planned it together, without you, and she’s not some childhood friend that they tried dating but it didn’t workout or something, definitely gives me sketchy vibes. And depending on how they met, that could potentially further the sketchiness

Anonymous

OP 1w

Ok so me personally, with this added information, whether he’s cheating on you or not, I’m not ok with the behavior. I still wouldn’t stop him from going but this is definitely noted permanently. I would investigate further before I feel confident that he’s genuinely a dumbass or genuinely mistreating you lol. Jokes aside though do you have friends that are friends with the group going on the trip? I would want to get my facts straight or at least as straight as possible because when you (1/2)

Anonymous

OP 1w

I had a feeling there wouldn’t be anything right about this situation.. OP did you tell him you’re uncomfortable with it?

Anonymous

#3 1w

(2/2) confront him, this is a serious accusation. You don’t want be wrong. I mean, you do want to be safe of course, but you don’t want to be wrong either. And girls, I’m a straight male, I know how guys think. That’s why I said earlier, if he’s tryna cheat, he’s gonna cheat. He’ll find a way. All I’m trying to say is, there’s a lot of variables to consider. Don’t get tunnel visioned, be smart and evaluate the situation. If you gave him the boyfriend title, you should at least have some trust

Anonymous

#4 1w

Yeah your gut feeling was right but again you’ve missed the point. You FELT like something was wrong but instead of investigating to confirm your beliefs or do root cause analysis, you jumped straight to a conclusion. You didn’t KNOW something was wrong you just FELT like it was wrong.

Anonymous

#3 1w

And girls, I’m not thinking about this situation as if I’m the BF. I’m thinking about this as if OP’s BF was my GF.

Anonymous

#3 1w

Dude stop replying to me lol this isn’t about cheating. It’s just about boundaries. When you’re in a relationship you put your partners feelings first. If OP’s bf goes on the trip it means her feelings don’t matter that much to him. This is very plain and simple. All this XYZ fine to consider but doesn’t change the fact that OP and most girls wouldn’t like their bfs going on a trip with their exes

Anonymous

#4 1w

It’s not plain and simple. If it was plain & simple, OP would not have made a post asking for our thoughts. Stop trying to be right and tell OP what to do, instead you should be helping OP make their own decision based on their knowledge of the situation. You don’t know the full story, you only know what OP has provided us for context. There’s more to it.