AITA on Sidechat | AITA for telling my 16-year-old half-sister’s mom she was pregnant and seeking abortion in secrecy after my dad refused to get involved? (1/2)

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AITA 9w

AITA for telling my 16-year-old half-sister’s mom she was pregnant and seeking abortion in secrecy after my dad refused to get involved? (1/2)

-16 upvote, 60 comments. Sidechat image post by Anonymous in AITA. "AITA for telling my 16-year-old half-sister’s mom she was pregnant and seeking abortion in secrecy after my dad refused to get involved? (1/2)"

-16

Anonymous 9w

Not only are you the asshole, you are straight up evil. It was not your secret to tell and she should be able to make decisions about her own pregnancy no matter how you feel about it. She will never trust you again, and she shouldn't. Sincerely you're an awful person and you put that girl at risk.

Anonymous 9w

nta necessarily for telling an adult but ABSOLUTELY yta for discouraging an abortion. she is sixteen fucking years old. the fact that you would rather see a CHILD. a MINOR. go through a life altering and traumatic experience just because of your own “morality” issues around abortion is disgusting.

Anonymous 9w

i’m ngl. considering ur 21 and not even a full adult yourself, i don’t think you did the worst thing. as far as i see there’s no major indication that she’s on bad terms with either of her biological parents and it is an extremely tough decision obviously for her, but also just knowing for you. as much as her parents may have been mad at her they could have been just as mad at OP for keeping the secret bc the child is a literal minor with an undeveloped frontal lobe. was there probably (1/2)

Anonymous 9w

So not only are you an asshole for tell her mother, you’re also an asshole for telling a random stranger at the apt complex! And your dad, who I assume is her father since she’s your half-sister with a different mother, is the bigger asshole! He doesn’t want to get involved? WTF? He’s a piece of shit too. I hope your sister cuts you all out of her life. She needed help and none of you was willing to help her. She’s told you she’s not prepared to be a mother! It is her choice to make, not yours.

Anonymous 9w

anyways imo NTA… or ESH bc it’s shitty of her to make u keep such a big secret but also not amazing of you to tell without her consent. but again as a minor… she needs all the support and help she can get and part of that will come from her family knowing. not everyone’s family is going to kick them out or hate them necessarily… if anything dad sucks bc why tf r u not involved in ur daughters life?? also if she kept it,, mom would know eventually. if she didn’t keep it, not telling takes a toll

Anonymous 9w

better ways for you to go about speaking to her parents, probably yes. being more direct w her abt speaking to her parents herself or coming up w a care game plan would have been helpful. but like you are her sibling not her parent and frankly it’s not ur job to parent her. from ur comments it seems like ur still actively involved in supporting ur sister which is helpful. idk if she changed her mind abt keeping it due to pressure from her mom knowing— that’s the main thing im concerned abt.

Anonymous 9w

Jesus loves you

Anonymous 9w

-4

Anonymous

#1 9w

i put her at risk by telling? lol okay. to call me evil over it is crazy. If you disagree that’s fine but I know i’m not evil, thanks for your opinion!

-11

Anonymous

#1 9w

how old are you 😂

-10

Anonymous

OP 9w

well I'm 30 and I agree so

Anonymous

#2 9w

that’s fair. I think I made the mature decision. She was a child

-11

Anonymous

OP 9w

I'm 25! You're a shit person, and no one should trust you. I have a fully developed frontal lobe unlike your 21 y/o ass, and you are not safe for that girl to ever have trusted.

Anonymous

OP 9w

No, you did not make a mature decision, you put a child at risk. Why come on here asking if yta if you're going to dig your feet in and go HMMPH I'm right idc? You made an evil decision point blank. You took someone's trust and spit in their face instead.

Anonymous

#1 9w

You comment doesn’t land because you’re calling a decision that was made with care “evil” regardless if you don’t agree with it. My intentions were not evil they were actually care

-10

Anonymous

#1 9w

So how did I put her at risk? Please let me know? Telling anyone didn’t stop her from getting the abortion? So enlighten me

-7

Anonymous

#1 9w

You act like she told me and I said, i’m telling! Did you even read the post dumbass 😂

-7

Anonymous

#1 9w

honestly don’t give a shit if she doesn’t trust me with anything else. i’ve proven myself trustworthy other than this one incident that i’m getting mixed feedback with. That’d be her missing out on it. In fact the adults in my life told me I should tell. Even other moms. So however we disagree it doesn’t really matter

-7

Anonymous

OP 9w

well I also have a child and think you did the wrong thing. If you really felt the conversation needed to be had, you did it the wrong way. Teen pregnancy and abortion can harm a child's relationship with their parents, my grandpa held a grudge against my mom for 36 years because she had an abortion. I had a friend who's dad beat her when she got pregnant at 14, and several who were kicked out. You know from when you told her boyfriend's mom you were putting her housing at risk.

Anonymous

#2 9w

She didn’t live with her boyfriend. She stayed at her mom and was in between our father’s house. She feared her mom being upset and kicking her out. Once her mom found out she said she wanted her to keep the baby and she’d help. ultimately the decision was still my sisters but it took weight off my chest being the only adult knowing. Especially after she passed out in the middle of the day in front of everyone

-6

Anonymous

#2 9w

i’m pretty sure she was telling her mom she’d be at my dads and then go to her boyfriends. Teenage stuff. but that wasn’t my concern. My concern was her wellbeing and mental health of going through this. I respect your opinion though and thanks for sharing

-4

Anonymous

OP 9w

Your concern was not her wellbeing at all. You do not care about her if you share information that wasn't yours to share. What is wrong with you?

Anonymous

#1 9w

Ok. We simply disagree. that’s fine. Thank you for your opinion

-3

Anonymous

OP 9w

Intentions do not matter dipshit, impact does. The only dumbass here is you. You have destroyed any relationship you could ever have with that girl and she will never forgive you.

Anonymous

OP 9w

You don't get an opinion on the harm you caused in another person's life. Go to therapy.

Anonymous

#1 9w

Jokes on you cause she did forgive me 😂and honestly even if she didn’t oh well. I acted out of love not malice. Whether you can understand that or not. You can keep calling me names though

-6

Anonymous

#1 9w

Mkay

-2

Anonymous

#1 9w

Caused harm by letting her mom know she was dealing with a heavy situation. Yes. I wonder how much harm I would’ve caused if I stayed quiet and she sought a fake abortion pill, or diy abortion, or if she got hurt passing out again. Didn’t think about that did you? You need therapy

-1

Anonymous

OP 9w

No, I've been to therapy. You need therapy. You asked if you were an asshole, got a resounding yes and refuse to reflect. Extremely narcissistic behavior to still think you were correct. Not a single person here is on your side because YOU ARE WRONG.

Anonymous

#1 9w

I mean that’s fine. Many people are on my side in other groups so i’m not tripping. Like I said we disagree. I came to see other peoples opinions, not to change my sweetheart!

Anonymous

#1 9w

kick rocks. You’re upset because I don’t agree with your take on my situation? Let it go. We disagree

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 9w

Not in this feed they aren’t but okay lol. Ur childish I can tell. Goodbye. stay blessed

-2

Anonymous

OP 9w

You're using "ur". The only one childish here is the ignorant troglodyte who thinks it's okay to give out other people's person information when they put trust in you.

Anonymous

#1 9w

k 🙂

-2

Anonymous

OP 9w

You're only 21, you'll learn one day (I hope). You just better hope that she doesn't realize how awful you were to her and go no contact.

Anonymous

#1 9w

girl shut up 😂 as time goes on it’ll only affirm how I felt. Like I said i’m not changing my opinion. She has opened back up to me regardless if we didn’t see eye to eye in my decision. Go find something else to do than pray on people downfall. Miserable ass

-4

Anonymous

OP 9w

Not a girl, and no it won't! I'm not miserable because I actually respect the people I have a relationship with unlike you. You're nothing but an ignorant child, despite your age.

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 9w

I'm nonbinary, and yes I'm queer. So you're also weird and homophobic! Fork found in kitchen.

Deleted 9w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 9w

"Ur". You've consistently shown yourself to be a bad person and ignorant. The irony.

Anonymous

#1 9w

ur , you’re whatever. It’s text babe

-5

Anonymous

OP 9w

You're ignorant "babe".

Anonymous

#1 9w

how was she not at risk by being pregnant without medical supervision at 16? i think OP could have done some things better but she's only 21 & it was a tricky situation. it seems like it's better that someone who is more capable helps her sister deal with the situation. and like if her sister was kicked out or pressured or smth OP isn't like cutting her out, she can still go to OP for help with that kind of situation. i feel like we're ignoring that this is a minor lol

Anonymous

#6 9w

So because I “discourage” abortion. Not “stop or control” her from getting one, i’m wrong? I have morals sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️

-4

Anonymous

#4 9w

Thank you

Anonymous

#5 9w

Amen

-2

Anonymous

OP 9w

yes 110%. your morals are fucking twisted if you care more about a clump of cells than your sister.

Anonymous

#6 9w

lmao so u are one of those people. got it. it’s a baby not cells

-4

Anonymous

#7 9w

Oh, and let’s not forget the other adult asshole in her life, the mother of the boy who got her pregnant! Good god, that poor girl. I hope you all reap what you sow. The only unknown character where a glimmer of hope might be found is her mother. Maybe she will help her. Although it’s not likely since the girl wasn’t even living with her.

Anonymous

OP 8w

science says otherwise.

Anonymous

#6 8w

The greatest buzzword of all time. Science. Never says what science it is that shows you’re correct, just uses a blanket word. So tell me, exactly what science says otherwise? And just because science says so doesn’t mean it overrides morality

-3

Anonymous

#7 8w

This reads like you exude yourself as some sort of moral paragon. No one is perfect

-1

Anonymous

#6 8w

This is you

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Anonymous

#6 8w

He didn’t force her to carry the pregnancy. Just has a moral stance. What is the issue with someone having a different view than you? Is it truly that wicked? God forbid someone has a different moral stance than me, because the way you acted means I can blow up on them and treat them like crap. What you’re doing is exactly why there is more political tension in the world, this is why people can’t be friends with other political parties people align themselves with because of dehumanization

-1

Anonymous

#6 8w

science says it’s a baby. do ur research 😂 I hope you find Jesus one day

-4

Anonymous

#7 8w

I didn’t tell my dad. My brother did. And I only told the lady at the complex for advice on if I should tell her mom. You don’t understand the situation I was put in. She was 16, not an adult. And wishing for her to go no contact is wildly mean. But she didn’t and she forgave me because deep down she knows I cared for her and did what was right. She can’t get an abortion at 16 by herself idiot. In fact me telling helped her get one before it was too late. God bless you

Anonymous

#7 8w

she was living with her mother. She was only visiting her boyfriends in secret. I should’ve clarified that

Anonymous

#5 8w

yes actually science does override ur religious beliefs. just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Anonymous

#6 8w

Your missing the point. If you let science overrule your morals that’s deeply concerning. So if science says we should kill all people in a you would do that. That’s a tremendous problem in your paradigm. Just because science says so doesn’t make it right

-4

Anonymous

#6 8w

Go look up a baby in the womb. Boom. Science. It’s not about religion. Just don’t say it’s a clump of cells when it’s clearly a growing baby. Please do your research. i’m done engaging with you

-4

Anonymous

OP 8w

if you did YOUR research, then you would know that no doctor performs an abortion once the cells have formed a baby. But early in the pregnancy it is not a fucking baby. It’s a clump of cells you idiot.