AITA on Sidechat | AITA: I don’t think my boyfriend should smoke weed twice a day everyday. There’s nothing wrong with smoking but why can’t it be done in moderation to be healthier? And doing it on the job is just unprofessional.

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AITA 23h

AITA: I don’t think my boyfriend should smoke weed twice a day everyday. There’s nothing wrong with smoking but why can’t it be done in moderation to be healthier? And doing it on the job is just unprofessional.

119

Anonymous 21h

Then breakup with him. Stopping an addiction/habit has to be something that HE wants and that HE wants to work towards. It will be a long arduous process. And a lot of pot smokers don’t really want to quit. So if you don’t want to be with someone who smokes twice a day, then don’t be. I personally smoke weed throughout the day. Start with a wake and bake. Then go outside to smoke about 3-4 times more throughout the day. I’m not planning on stopping or slowing down. He probably isn’t either.

Anonymous 17h

Have you talked to him about it?

Anonymous 10h

Diva you MUST set this boundary now or never. The smoke won’t be good for you long term, and this can turn into a nasty addiction FAST. If he doesn’t want to clean up, you leave

Anonymous 14h

It depends how much he clings to it. If he *can’t* not do it, then that sucks. If it’s just like “I’ll smoke before dinner and before i shower and go to bed” it’s like 🤷🏻‍♂️

Anonymous 17h

What’s his personal reason for smoking?

Anonymous 5m

tbh from reading all these comments, i just don't think you guys are compatible. i know that you said that you are in other ways, but...

Anonymous

#1 21h

Just seems like y’all are not compatible unless you think it is actually something that HE wants to slow down or stop. So do yourself a favor and be happier with someone with a lifestyle that better matches yours. He might find someone who matches his lifestyle better too. Or he’ll stop smoking or who knows. Not your problem.

Anonymous

#1 19h

We’re compatible in many other ways and I don’t want to end things over this one part that we differ about.

Anonymous

#2 17h

Because his coworkers do it before their shift and at lunch so he wants to do it with them and he said it’s “to pass time”

Anonymous

OP 17h

Okay that’s good then - I assumed it was a deal breaker because of the post, but I’m glad y’all are compatible enough in the other ways

Anonymous

#1 17h

Not a dealbreaker just an argument that happens frequently unfortunately and the relationship is good in other areas but trying to find a way to resolve this issue yk

Anonymous

#3 17h

Yes, he gets very angry and says I am being negative and that he is not a “cookie cutter” person like me that follows all of the rules. I’m not saying he has to stop I just think it isn’t healthy to smoke that much and told him I am worried that he drives high and if further in our relationship we have kids for example is he going to drive them high and watch them high? I think it makes more sense to do it in moderation than to be totally reliant

Anonymous

OP 17h

If he is reliant, what are the driving factors? Like besides just wanting to be socially accepted by his coworkers and have something to do with them Like is he depressed? Does he find his joy thru smoking? How long has he been a smoker? Has he expressed that he’d have boundaries while smoking if it involved watching kids in the future or driving?

Anonymous

#1 17h

No, honestly if he would have expressed that about boundaries I would feel much better. He said that is the future and he can only say what he will do in the present and he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there. He doesn’t like to plan things out and said that’s not him, he will only solve it when it’s a problem. He has smoked since he was a teenager and is 30 now. He isn’t depressed, and truly when I asked what the purpose was he said it mellows him out and he uses it to pass time.

Anonymous

OP 17h

He doesn’t smoke at home (we live together) and said he doesn’t need to there because he has things to do (video games, tv, hangout with me etc.) but at work he wants to pass the time

Anonymous

OP 16h

does he smoke on his days off?

Anonymous

OP 14h

that does seem kinda normal. lunch beers.

Anonymous

#4 12h

Idk if you really don’t like alcohol/being around people drinking and your bf/gf had like eight beers a night that would be a big relationship problem over time

Anonymous

#4 12h

Like in that scenario MOST of the time you’re around them (which is probably in the evenings) they’re under the influence of something

Anonymous

#5 12h

This is why it really bothers me like I want to be around him sober atleast most of the time like I drink socially so I’m not judging saying he has to be sober 100% of the time but everyday just seems excessive and like I never see the real him because he’s always high

Anonymous

OP 12h

I’m not gonna try and disagree with what you said, because it’s true. But generally, if I smoke and nap and wake up an hour later, i might forget that I’m high. To a lot of daily smokers, I really don’t feel that much of a difference unless it’s a lot. Zyns or caffeined up probably affect me more. I would totally cut back if I was dating someone if it is excessive.

Anonymous

OP 12h

i worked in retail and food. everyone is on drugs. its because their job is shite. that said, i dont think hed quit regardless because he seems to enjoy it

Anonymous

OP 3h

honestly i understand your point, however from what you’ve said he only smokes at work. and thats twice a day. he’s already stated that he only does it to mellow himself out/pass time and i find that reasonable. you can obviously draw the line about smoking at home, and ask to compromise with you on limiting it to maybe once a day and go from there? that’s what i did with my boyfriend and we’re now both happy campers :)