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AITA 1w
AITA for turning my girlfriend down when she wants to get sexual in a way? She’s always supportive and kind about it but at the same time I can tell it’s an important sensual thing to her and it makes me feel like a failure.
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17
upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

It depends why you don’t want to. Is it because you don’t like her? Are you asexual? I think you need to communicate to her why and go from there

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

you need to ask yourself why you’re turning her down in the first place

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

do you not like sexual activity because of her? because of religion? because of trauma?

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

I don’t have any kind of trauma surrounding things like that and I know I definitely find her attractive it’s just like whenever we start getting to anything “serious” I freak out like hyperventilating and stuff

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

take a chill pill homie 😭 🙏

upvote -3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1w

We’ve communicated about it and she assures me that I’m fine and that it doesn’t bother her any but no matter how much she says that I just get this nagging feeling that it DOES bother her and that she’s just being nice

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

its ok, its a conversation u need to have with her though. tell her that this happens to u because she deserves to know why

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

We’ve talked about it many times I’ve never tried to hide it or anything, I just feel like I’m a problem and she’s missing out on something she wants because of me

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1w

I really wish I knew though like if I could give her a concrete answer it’d be awesome but even just thinking about it sends me into a spiral

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

are you afraid of not making her happy?

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

have u ever done it with her or no?

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

No the closest we got I had a full on panic attack

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

how long have u been together?

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

But WHY don’t you just want to I asked that too

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1w

I know you did and i CAN’T ANSWER because I DON’T KNOW. I just have a breakdown whenever we try or if I even think about doing it I can’t form a reason for it

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

breakdown? I mean this respectful but you NEED therapy. Could be underlying trauma or anxiety or feelings you don’t consciously know or. Doesn’t necessarily mean trauma as the negative form of the word, but any experiences that can leave an impression on you like this.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

Is it just because it’s new and unknown?

upvote 5 downvote