AITA on Sidechat | AITA? Tonight my male friend came over and laid his head over on my lap. He had a rough one and I comforted him by rubbing his back and arm as we all talked. Suddenly my husband is pissed because I was “flirting” I wasn’t but he swears I was.

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AITA 5w

AITA? Tonight my male friend came over and laid his head over on my lap. He had a rough one and I comforted him by rubbing his back and arm as we all talked. Suddenly my husband is pissed because I was “flirting” I wasn’t but he swears I was.

Anonymous 5w

Idk I wouldn’t like that, and idk like if a woman did that to my man, I wouldn’t be amused so I can see why he would be mad at u doing it to a male friend. I personally would find that way too touchy for just general comforting of a friend of opposite gender. I would probs just give the friend a good hug and then talk it out with the friend without the extra touching

Anonymous 5w

I say it’s just weird. That is the sort of “intimacy” one has with a partner. He’s right to be mad

Anonymous 5w

As a married woman, this is gross behavior. I hope you apologize to your husband.

Anonymous 5w

yeah as a woman i would say YTA…think about how you would feel if a woman came to your house and put her head on ur husband’s lap because she had a rough day. i guarantee you would be pissed too

Anonymous 5w

Break up

Anonymous 5w

Girl wtf

Anonymous 5w

respectfully dude have some social awareness

Anonymous 5w

Girl you keep saying how his female friends have done worse and you didn’t say anything- SAY SOMETHING. Obviously it bothers you enough to keep mentioning it and honestly if it’s “worse” than that intimate then you should def be bothered by it bc you and your friend doing that was weird.

Anonymous 5w

YTA.

Anonymous 5w

i feel like people are brushing over the actions of the male friend in this situation why did he feel it appropriate to do that in the first place

Anonymous 5w

The ways in which a proper lady should act is based on the gender of the other person. How dare you? What’re you gonna do next? Show your ankles! How ghastly! It’s not that deep if you’d do that for any other friend then ppl need to understand that not everything you do w the opposite gender is fucking sexual!

Anonymous 5w

Then they went on a walk to take his mind off it and she slipped and fell on his dick

Anonymous 5w

NTA but you’re treading on thin ice and you knew that. How would you feel if he did that to a lady friend? Even if you wouldn’t mind, do you really want your man putting his hands on another woman like that? Might not be sexual, but it’s temptation

Anonymous 5w

I just changed my downvote to an upvote lmao my b

Anonymous

#3 5w

He has female friends who act the same way/ if not worse and I’ve never said a word.

-8

Anonymous

#7 5w

Because we’re close friends. He needed a moment to just breathe and have someone there for him. I won’t go into details on his personal life but I know if I were going through what he is it would damn near kill me and I pray my friends would help comfort me however they can. Even if it’s just letting me lay there breaking down on them.

Anonymous

#2 5w

He has female friends who have done way worse and I’ve not said a word. Idk how comforting someone is an issue.

-14

Anonymous

#4 5w

He’s got female friends who have acted way worse and I’ve not said a word nor took that as him cheating

-11

Anonymous

#5 5w

I’ll apologize when he stops letting his female friends act the same way since it’s so “wrong”

-7

Anonymous

OP 5w

it sounds like your husband is just being an ass then. ive seen you saying he does worse with his female friends but doesnt see anything wrong with it. it sounds like that may be because hes transfixing specific emotions onto you about this friend

Anonymous

#7 5w

I’ve never once had an issue with it because I trust him to know it’s not anything I need to be concerned with.

-2

Anonymous

OP 5w

Yes because youre being rational it sounds like he has separate issues he needs to go to therapy for.

Anonymous

#4 5w

It’s the same level of intimacy I feel like most women have w their other women friends. But no it’s weird bc it boy and girl and as we all know boy and girl only fuck boy and girl don’t friendship

Anonymous

#8 5w

no fr the husband also sounds a bit misogynistic to me like why can it only go one way

Anonymous

OP 5w

I mean hey u asked and I answered how I would feel. I wouldn’t be amused if he’s doing the same, but that is where my boundaries are. I will say if he does the same, I would just say yall have not communicated enough on ur boundaries if u both get mad about it. If one party just gets mad about it but does the same, idk maybe point out the hypocrisy and try an set standards so both of u are comfortable with each others actions around others

Anonymous

#2 5w

Did I say I got mad? I have no issues because I trust him

-8

Anonymous

OP 5w

I didn’t say u got mad, I said one party, referencing u saying he got pissed 😭😭

Anonymous

OP 5w

I mean truly it’s up to u guys at the end of the day to set boundaries and communicate. I can see this going both ways. I personally am not a v touchy person and my man like would know that I only rlly am touchy with him which is why I would also expect same of him. If you both have good consistency with how u comfort regardless of gender/sex and communicate well, I don’t see an issue. I just know that for me, I don’t rlly like my SO being that touchy with other ppl

Anonymous

OP 5w

Bro it sounds like you and your husband have some deeper issues 😭 maybe work on those with him instead of airing out your beef to strangers on the yak

Anonymous

#5 5w

You could simply scroll on by too 🤷🏻‍♀️

-14

Anonymous

OP 5w

i think you should say something if it happens again with his female friends, u keep bringing it up in the comments and it might help him understand where ur coming from

Anonymous

#14 5w

Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t aware anyone else knew how I felt. FYI it doesn’t bother me because I don’t have trust issues.

-9

Anonymous

#15 5w

OP is fighting for her life here lmao. Girl if you didn’t want strangers putting their two cents in you shouldn’t have posted.

Anonymous

#6 5w

Nah- just fuckin my friend ig 💀

-9

Anonymous

OP 5w

Well if you had an issue with it, you should have said something . And if you don’t have an issue with it, then you bringing this up over and over doesn’t matter at all in this. You asked for everyone’s opinion, you can’t be mad when they all agree you acting like that was assholeish.

Anonymous

#16 5w

Soooo just because I’m okay with it means he’s allowed to disrespect me when I do the same shit with my friends? #toxicmaleenergy

-9

Anonymous

OP 5w

? Okay then tell him to not let them do that and you also don’t let your friends do that. Be an adult, you’re whining like a child over a non issue

Anonymous

OP 5w

You have to be a troll there’s no way

Anonymous

OP 5w

babe it’s not toxic male energy if you’re really “okay” with it you wouldn’t keep repeating it for one. and for two just bc your boundaries are different than your man’s doesn’t mean he’s being toxic. like someone else said yall have some deeper issues that imo probably should’ve been discussed prior to marriage. there’s no reason yall are married and don’t know each others boundaries or how to respect said boundaries

Anonymous

#8 5w

I agree with what you’re trying to convey, but the fact that you said it’s not what a “proper lady” would do is concerning. There is no “proper lady” just like there’s no “proper man”. There’s just people. Get that shit out of here

Anonymous

#19 5w

The beginning is supposed to sound sarcastic. I agree. Talking about what is proper is mainly just purity culture

Anonymous

OP 5w

>OP posts on AITA >someone says YTA >OP gets mad Yeah, you are the asshole

Anonymous

OP 5w

OP definitely scope creeps and manipulates

Anonymous

OP 5w

it obv bothers you a bit if you’re holding onto it and using it as retaliation whenever someone says yta for doing it to him lol why argue when you asked if yta… imo both yall the asshole and should prob communicate better

Anonymous

OP 5w

Nah you knew you were treading on thin ice by doing that. YTA.

Anonymous

OP 5w

This is literally an AITA thread, where people ask if they are the asshole

Anonymous

OP 5w

If they jump off a bridge you would too headass 💀 stop being a follower and try to be understanding towards your partner instead of running to the internet for validation that’s not coming gurl

Anonymous

OP 5w

You’re the one who put your business in the air, who doesn’t stop when they see a building on fire

Anonymous

#16 5w

Deadass cause she hasn’t said anything about his relationships but he HAS said something… maybe this’ll teach her a lesson on dry begging for mono-affection or something SOMETHIN cause if ur married ur already too old to be airing such middle school relationship drama online for strangers to judge 🫩🫡

Anonymous

#8 5w

Have you considered that this type of thing is normal in his culture? I’m American, it’s not normal in mine, but if it’s normal in my SO’s culture, this becomes a much trickier discussion. Details people, we need details.

Anonymous

OP 5w

“Just because I’m ok with him doing something I don’t like, he’s allowed to do it?” You probably need therapy