Ask Anything on Sidechat | Okay if the person I had a one night stand with claims to be pregnant, is it bad of me to ask for a paternity test when the baby is born and just be financially responsible if it’s mine but no other contact with her ?

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Ask Anything 2w

Okay if the person I had a one night stand with claims to be pregnant, is it bad of me to ask for a paternity test when the baby is born and just be financially responsible if it’s mine but no other contact with her ?

Anonymous 2w

Definitely not bad to ask for paternity especially if it was truly a one night stand but just make sure you really think things through before making a big decision about contact/involvement/etc! :)

Anonymous 2w

Not for asking for a paternity test, WHICH YOU CAN GET AT 8 WEEKS instead of after birth and it’s HARMLESS to the baby. But if you wait until the birth to communicate then you’d be an idiot for two reasons. 1) there’s no need to wait for the test & if she tries to argue against a risk free test then you’re not the father. 2) if u ignore her the entire pregnancy you’re sabotaging your coparenting relationship. Money won’t get rid of custody & IF a judge agrees to it you’ll be paying way more

Anonymous 2w

Definitely get a paternity test and if you are super worried you don’t have to sign the birth certificate. But be prepared for answers. You need to keep civil and records of all conversations. If it’s text have dates and times in the pictures. Do not yell at her, you can let her yell but don’t engage. Step back. Set money aside so you can have stuff at your place for baby so when co parenting starts you don’t need anything to go back and forth. Learn your states rules for co parenting.

Anonymous 2w

You have to do the paternity test either way because she can go through the court system and demand child support

Anonymous

#2 2w

Makes sense , honestly this is all new to me and a complete turn around in my current life , have to to further research I guess , thanks

Anonymous

#1 2w

I mean I would see the baby but her idk

Anonymous

OP 2w

No problem! But yeah they can use the mom’s blood (cuz the babies DNA is floating around in hers) to do a DNA test ghats noninvasive to the baby. It’s very cool if ur into science🤓😂. But signing your rights away doesn’t remove you from liability and a lot of family judges look down on it as an attempt to avoid responsibility. & if you give up all custody then they’ll factor that into your child support payments since you’d be placing ALL childcare (and expenses) onto the mom.

Anonymous

OP 2w

So it’s cheaper to take some custody tbh. Ik you may not want the baby and I get it I’m pro choice, but as a realist the only true form of 100% reliable protection is abstinence & you can’t force her to abort it or put it up for adoption so if you truly don’t want to be involved then you can either pay more but give the kid a daddy complex (& be seen badly by others) or do the bare minimum and maybe love it maybe hate it. I don’t envy you at all. ☹️

Anonymous

#3 2w

The distance you are apart in miles is usually what used to designate your visitation rights. You just have to be able to get along enough to drop off and picks. Also co-parenting 101 learn not to say anything bad about the other person no matter what happens or what the kids says.