Anonymous _kitty 1w

Kink clubs and other things only really exist in the bigger cities to. So the smaller cities it is even harder to find people.

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Anonymous _kitty 1w

Damn I didn’t even think about it like that. It makes a lot of sense.

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Anonymous OP 1w

Yeah. Sadly one of the incidents I know of it was male who like bondage. Wasn’t even hardcore stuff. Someone at his work saw a social media post from a friend not even him. They talked about it at bar then within a few days a lot people at his work knew. He started getting complaints randomly that he wasn’t being a team player or he was making people uncomfy. Then they let him go. Some religious group got him kicked out his apartment cause in their words “ didn’t feel safe with him in

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Anonymous _kitty 1w

Same complex as kid” which just absolutely ridiculous. Anyone that knew him personally knew it all was just slander and hatred.

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Anonymous _kitty 1w

Dude. Wtf. Makes me reevaluate how open I am about it now as well. That’s wild. Thanks for the new perspective. I hope he’s happier now!

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Anonymous #6 1w

Office chit chat or work lunch or while on the phone with friends or out shopping with them or whatever. It’s weird that you think we should be talking about our sex life like you’re talking about what you had for lunch or what your plans for vacation are. Sex should be private unless you’re in a community (whether online or in person) dedicated to sex or some specific kink. But thinking sex should be a normal “small talk” or public subject/topic is actually wild on your part. Not everything

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Anonymous #6 1w

Needs to be public or spoken about some things are meant to be private.

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Anonymous #6 1w

I see your point for sure, and I get what you’re saying about not wanting explicit details in random settings, that’s valid. But I think there’s a difference between oversharing and just normalizing conversation. A lot of things used to be “private” including mental health, sexuality, even periods and talking about them actually made things safer and less shame-based. So that’s why I asked that question, not because it needs to be talked about at brunch,

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Anonymous OP 1w

But I do think not talking about it does create a stigma around it spread by misinformation.

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Anonymous OP 1w

Well the things that should be talked about aren’t sex in itself but rather things surrounding it such as consent, our bodies, talking to your partner(s), knowing what is involved like general sex ed and health related sex ed (protection, diseases, etc.). But other things like positions and kinks and toys and stuff like that that should all be more private and only for certain situations which are basically just with your partner or in dedicated communities. If someone wants to find out about

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Anonymous #6 1w

Something in particular their first recourse should be online and communities relating to whatever it is they’re looking to learn about. Kinks and the specifics of sexual acts themselves still shouldn’t be something talked about while out in public within earshot of completely unrelated to you people. Sexual acts and specifics just aren’t public run of the mill topics. Just like describing your bathroom business will never be or any other bodily function like that. If you want to talk about

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Anonymous #6 6d

That’s what I’m referring to. I don’t think sharing intimate details such as toys or positions should be just shared out in the world. But I do find that anytime the matter of consent or how BDSM “contradicts” moral ethics in regard to consent is brought up it’s very taboo. And I think that’s a dangerous topic to be taboo. I guess the topic of sex/BDSM is very broad so maybe I should be more specific next time in a post!

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Anonymous #6 6d

Specifics like that you need to find a person or a group of people that are also willing to do the same. Just like computer nerds need to find other computer nerds and car nerds need to find other car nerds, people that want to talk about sexual acts of any kind need to find other people that are also looking to do the same. Don’t be trying to make something that shouldn’t be normalized, normalized. (And I don’t mean people having kinks, that’s normal. But wanting these kinks or even sexual acts

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Anonymous #6 6d

To be talked about casually in public shouldn’t be normalized. That’s private stuff.)

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Anonymous OP 6d

I guess what I’m mostly confused about what your saying is, when are you having these alleged conversations?? Are these conversations happening with sexual partners?? Randomly with friends?? In public? In private? Because the way in your post you say “everywhere I go if this convo gets brought up the room gets silent” makes it seem like you’re talking about randomly bringing up these things (in particular kinks since you mention bdsm) in random situations like out eating or at a party or on a

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Anonymous #6 6d

I mean there’s various places this gets brought up. Obviously not randomly at a restaurant, or at brunch in public lol, but here’s a great example that happened and is ultimately the reason why I posted this. There was a group of friends (about 7 girls there) at our friend’s house. We were just drinking wine and talking about various topics. One of our friends had brought up that they wanted advice. They said they were in a BDSM dynamic (didn’t go into specifics) and wanted advice only

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Anonymous #6 6d

Walk or at work, so I’m just confused because then you say yeah these things shouldn’t be talked about in public so it’s like what?? Lol. I agree that you need to be more specific about what you’re saying. And also, you mention consent being taboo what makes you feel that? I feel like now more than ever is consent something so emphasized and prevalent in society that’s odd.

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Anonymous OP 6d

On how to bring up a particular topic involving kink (again no specifics) to their partner. They asked how we did it. And the room fell silent. One girl just said “no one here is into to that weird shit” and moved on to another topic. I didn’t feel as though that was an inappropriate topic that she brought up because we were just talking about different household dynamics we have with our partners. Like some were 50/50 some had their husband stay at home while they worked. Etc.

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Anonymous OP 6d

That’s why I was taken back because the conversation spiraled into many other things and a girl brought it up.

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Anonymous #6 6d

Yes consent in general is usually not a taboo topic especially now, but there’s been times where I’ll be in a conversation (usually political) and someone will bring up consent and certain BDSM dynamics and that’s where there taboo kind of stems from. The stigma starts with misinformation and it becomes taboo. Does that make sense?

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