I used to have those thoughts and honestly the reasoning was being scared and also spite that kept me living

9

Spite. I can’t let them win. And fear, for whoever finds my body might follow me

6

bc then if you die your last moments will be the worst of your life and you’ll never get to have known true happiness

6

Literally only God

6

Little goals, and small joys. As much as I want to do it, I procrastinate it. And that keeps me alive. Every night I promise myself I’ll do it either the next day, or in a week or whatever- and then once that day comes I procrastinate again. And while I wait for that, I fill my time with tiny joys, like fanfictions that are incomplete so I have to wait for the author to update them, or tv shows that I only let myself see one episode per day. Either way good luck

5

Id rather blow the brains out of a fascist

4

My mother

2

My religion

1

Weed

1

Holy Orthodoxy and Theosis (including the driving mindset behind Theosis).

1