Ask Anything on Sidechat | does anyone else see the “beware of people who say they can’t keep friends cuz there’s a reason for it!” posts and it stresses you out cuz you don’t know if you’re the problem? i try to reflect on my actions all the time, yet can’t keep long term friends

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Ask Anything 4w

does anyone else see the “beware of people who say they can’t keep friends cuz there’s a reason for it!” posts and it stresses you out cuz you don’t know if you’re the problem? i try to reflect on my actions all the time, yet can’t keep long term friends

Anonymous 4w

Yeah those posts always rub me the wrong way considering it’s literally a known thing that someone who’s been abused in the past in any way is a prime target for terrible friends that will then leave the moment the person shows any sign of standing up for themself. Also some people just? Aren’t as social as others? So unless they find their ride or die theyll drift away from most of their friends

Anonymous 4w

Yes omg it’s actually why I just kinda don’t try to make new ones anymore

Anonymous 4w

Think about what kind of standards you have for your friends. If you’re super forgiving to the point of people pleasing, it’s really easy to become friends with people that are comfortable treating you poorly. When I started being extremely selective about who I’m friends with, I realized I used to surrounded myself with literally anyone because I had 0 boundaries

Anonymous 4w

It always lead to backstabbing, ghosting & disappointment

Anonymous 2w

I feel so seen by these comments 🥲

Anonymous 4w

idk for me it’s always been true, reevaluate yourself mane

-2

Anonymous

#2 4w

And it gets worse each time bc you genuinely try to understand what you could have done wrong and how you can be better moving forward. But it comes to a point where you have to ask if it’s genuinely you or that you just somehow keep befriending all the bad apples it’s so exhausting

Anonymous

#3 4w

And don’t get me STARTED on how neurodivergent people often lose friends for. Yknow. Appearing “weird”. It really feels like another of those “anyone who isn’t social in this specific way has something wrong with them” things

Anonymous

#3 4w

It’s why the concept of red flags and the generalization of it is so harmful, cause people start to view every single trait someone can show as a sign of bigger problems when… they usually aren’t.

Anonymous

#3 4w

Wait stop yall are gonna make me cry this is a KNOWN fact!? I’ve felt insane bc i always thought i was the bad friend for rocking the boat or bringing up things that upset me. Like that was the catalyst each time and I felt psychotic trying to figure out what I was doing wrong but to know it’s a thing to attract friends like that bc of how you were raised kinda makes me wanna sob!

Anonymous

#3 4w

And also adding I feel like people forget that the same way parents don’t model healthy romantic relationships they are probably aren’t modeling good friendships either!!

Anonymous

#1 4w

Yes, and I would be fine if I didn’t have to experience it multiple time. And it just stems from others guys being jealous of me. (As a guy) I don’t understand if your friend is successful wouldn’t want them to be happy? I think I tend to be nice and people use that a lot and now thinking about it I have to be extremely cautious who I am around.