Ask Anything on Sidechat | so i have never been able to actually love myself because i’m bigger and i feel like no one will ever love me. so like if anyone has any advice on weight loss or general esteem issues it would be appreciated :)

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Ask Anything 2w

so i have never been able to actually love myself because i’m bigger and i feel like no one will ever love me. so like if anyone has any advice on weight loss or general esteem issues it would be appreciated :)

Anonymous 2w

Start small with daily walks and a cleaner diet. Positive affirmations every morning and you can change your mindset. “Today will be a good day” “I am confident and beautiful”. Even if you’re not feeling it in the morning you can trick your brain into thinking more positive!

Anonymous 2w

Obviously eating healthy and avoiding processed foods, but if you can you should consult a nutritionist, get outside and get in the gym. Avoid random fad diets. Pick a reasonable amount of days you actually will be able to stick to when it comes to working out.

Anonymous 2w

Losing weight will not make you love yourself it will give you an ed. We are taught to base our “worth” on our appearance. it’s important to start refocusing on to the other great things about you. Get hobbies. Positive affirmations (not about your appearance) work. Realize the qualities you posses and things you do are so much more important than your appearance. Also remember that if your appearance is the most interesting thing about you then youre probs pretty boring. Hope this helps :)

Anonymous 2w

this probably doesn’t help but if it makes u feel better im extremely skinny and i feel the exact same way. but i hope it gets better!!!

Anonymous 2w

Ma'am it's called self esteem. You need to be esteeming yourself. Plenty of men love big girls

Anonymous 2w

go to the gym

Anonymous 2w

Would you judge someone else for being your size?

Anonymous

#2 2w

thank you for the actually helpful advice :) i was nervous posting this because i thought i was only going to get hate comments, appreciate you!

Anonymous

#3 2w

literally never which is why it’s so weird that i see people like me and don’t blink but when it’s me i’m literally the most critical person ever

Anonymous

#3 2w

Also, this is a weird ass suggestion, but fuck it, we ball: fanfiction. There’s not a lot, but I’ve read some really good fics where the main character is fat and it’s seen as something beautiful and good and admirable, and lowkey that comforted my insecure middle school self so much

Anonymous

#3 2w

stop it i love that! fanfiction is so fun to read 😭

Anonymous

OP 2w

I can look for the exact fics if you want, but it was cod reader inserts, but the kind of reader where she was more like an oc like she had a whole personality and life and hobbies and shit. Written in second person, if that appeals to you. I’ve also seen a good few weight gain as a good thing fics in that fandom, with ships between actual canon characters No judgement is none of that’s your cup of tea!!

Anonymous

#4 2w

help bc i don’t know how to do that 😭 and i hear ppl say that but i never see these men anywhere

Anonymous

#5 2w

no it’s very helpful! i feel like a lot of people put a label on skinny people and just assume that they have no problems. i think it’s really good to remember that everyone’s going through something :)

Anonymous

#3 2w

love the cod reader inserts

Anonymous

OP 2w

yes exactly! we all want what we don’t have but at the end of the day we’re all beautiful and made the way we are for a reason!

Anonymous

OP 2w

Hmmm. IDK. Sometimes they are obvi flirting and you're lukewarm AF

Anonymous

#4 2w

i’m confused wdym lukewarm

Anonymous

OP 2w

I'm asking? I need you to think. Does anybody compliment you? You at you a little longer than the usual?

Anonymous

OP 2w

*look

Anonymous

#4 2w

erm that wasn’t a question before but no that never happens

Anonymous

OP 2w

Right now it's happening. Already clueless then

Anonymous

OP 2w

How do you normally dress?

Anonymous

#4 2w

average idk

Anonymous

OP 2w

Average?? What's that ma'am?

Anonymous

#4 2w

idk like shorts, sweats, t shirts. basic

Anonymous

OP 2w

Now we're getting somewhere. You're wearing nothing to get you noticed

Anonymous

#4 2w

please 😭 i should not have to buy a wardrobe of clothes to be noticed

Anonymous

OP 2w

I ALWAYS say this. Over 50% of the time it's how you dress. This is for male and female. I always tell people go get a makeover. But people get mad when I say that. You got to find your sense of style. What looks good on you. And what you feel good in. Accentuating all your best assets

Anonymous

OP 2w

It's not about that. It's about something that you need to find in you. When you find it others will just notice. You'll come alive in front of everyone. But it takes work that you just said you don't want to do. It's cool

Anonymous

OP 2w

I said get a makeover. It's from head to toe. You start you a hairstyle that makes your face pop. If you wear makeup all the colors that make your face pop. Then you choose clothes that accent your body type. You got to try different stuff. Always trying what you like. Do you like jewelry? Do you have piercings? Change the jewelry to make your piercings pop. You have so many things to work with. But we're working off you. It's fun. That's some honest fun. Cause you're learning you

Anonymous

OP 2w

And learning to love you at the same time

Anonymous

#4 2w

yeah idkkk i can’t really afford to do all that

Anonymous

OP 2w

Ok this doesn't have to be expensive. There's too much YouTube out here to not be able to find how to give yourself a makeover. Or find some resources to get one

Anonymous

OP 2w

But like I said it's a journey. You may not want to do all this. Self awareness is a beautiful thing

Anonymous

#6 2w

thank you!! do you have any tips on the most important foods to avoid?

Anonymous

#7 2w

i get this but at the same time i feel like appreciating my appearance more will give me more confidence to go out and do things that i want to do but don’t because of my insecurities

Anonymous

OP 2w

I see where you are coming from, for me it did not help, I still didn’t love myself. But try it out and see if it helps! Just be careful it can get slippery quick. Good luck !!