Ask Anything on Sidechat | what do I do if I have a friend that makes subtle digs at my expense and is constantly passive aggressive but everytime I try to approach her about it she acts like I’m making shit up

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Ask Anything 6d

what do I do if I have a friend that makes subtle digs at my expense and is constantly passive aggressive but everytime I try to approach her about it she acts like I’m making shit up

Anonymous 6d

cut off

Anonymous 6d

I read your other comments, so what I think you should do is either “grey rock her” (pls google method) & not ignore her, but don’t feed into anything she says. Or, everyone she says something rude: cock your head to the side and innocently say, “what a weird thing to say!” Do not ask her WHY she said it. Just state that it’s weird/odd. It puts the pressure on her to correct the behavior or defend herself. If she tries to defend herself just smile and shrug. Like “Ok sure thing!”.

Anonymous 6d

I personally would call her out on her bullshit but if you’re not a confrontational person you can also shrug it off and move on with your day. Those type of people are trying to get a reaction out of you so acting oblivious works wonders.

Anonymous 6d

Sounds like you’re being gaslit and they are super defensive and coming from someone who is defensive that’s a really difficult type of person to get through to so you’re probably better off distancing and ignoring them until you can stop living with them

Anonymous

#1 6d

we are roommates

Anonymous

OP 6d

oof idk ig in the moment there’s a comment that bothers you call her out every time

Anonymous

#1 6d

she scares me ngl

Anonymous

OP 6d

well she can probably tell and that’s probably why she keeps acting this way

Anonymous

#1 6d

very true I just don’t know how to tell her bc everytime I have she always throws it back on me and she even threatened her own life. I lowkey have just rolled over and taken it bc I’m just so over fighting about it

Anonymous

OP 6d

in my experience the way to deal with people like this is set your boundaries and maintain them calmly consistently and don’t give their efforts to upset you an outward emotional reaction

Anonymous

#1 6d

i lowkey just have been distancing a little more. We have only rlly had one like “argument” recently and I didn’t rlly react so it was like not a big deal. It’s just rlly bipolar with her sometimes. It’s hard bc ik she can be a good person but like something changed recently and idk why :( and she’s like my closest friend at UD so it’s just even more upsetting

Anonymous

#2 6d

If you really do value the friendship and think you two are close though you could try to get through to them

Anonymous

#3 6d

But also by call her out I don’t mean start a debate that will never work. You can just say something like “that’s an odd thing to say” or “what do you mean by that?” whenever she makes a passive aggressive comment. Force her to explain herself they tend to back off and say “nvm” or something.

Anonymous

#4 6d

DON’T be passive aggressive when you shrug. Be sweet as pie and seem genuine. It’ll make her self conscious asf and trigger her to do some self reflection.