Anonymous #1 23h

If you don’t only view the opposite sex as being useful for dating/sex, it should be pretty easy to befriend them

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Anonymous #2 23h

Yeh she has gotten cheated on before from a girl bestfriend situation but at the same time I have two female friends that were there before I was dating her and knowing that she still got with me and sometimes we have conversations on how she doesn’t understand the need for female friends and how she doesn’t know if she will ever be fully comfortable with that and I’m starting to think that thinking like that isn’t really comfortable

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Anonymous OP 23h

so she’s known long before you two got together and it is now a problem…? sounds like she’s bringing old trauma into this new relationship. that isn’t healthy especially always feeling like you can’t trust your partner. does she have zero male friends?

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Anonymous #2 23h

i would either ask if she wants to talk to the friends or would like to discuss her boundaries with having friends. heavy on *boundaries* and not controlling who you’re friends with and when you can/ can’t talk to them.

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Anonymous #2 23h

She had a male friend before we starting dating that she got rid of bc she thought I wouldn’t be comfortable but whole time I never even said nothing about it she didn’t ask me if I was comfortable with it or not I wouldn’t have cared

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Anonymous OP 23h

Cheaters are going to cheat whether they have opposite gender friends or not. The issue isn’t their friends. It’s them not valuing a relationship and their partner enough to be loyal.

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Anonymous OP 22h

i feel bad for the friend. and you told her you weren’t uncomfortable with the friendship nor asked her to drop him? reassurance may or may not work in this situation. i personally feel like she needs help in processing her past hurt. she’s bringing it into y’all’s relationship and it won’t do any good.

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Anonymous #3 22h

right!!! do you also agree she may need help with processing her pain and that she’s bringing in trauma from her past relationship?

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Anonymous #2 22h

Yeah, she’s definitely not ready to be in a relationship bc she hasn’t healed from the last run. ESP when she’s dropping her own friends as a guilt trip? Nah

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Anonymous #3 22h

i completely agree!

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Anonymous #3 22h

She claims she don’t know what the purpose and need of having a friend of the opposite gender bc what can they do that ur gf/bf can’t which idk the point of thinking like that

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Anonymous OP 22h

are you happy in your relationship?

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Anonymous #2 22h

Yeh I’m happy I just don’t understand that way of thinking like I understand you’ve been cheated on by a girl bestfriend before but if the person ain’t showing any signs of them being sneaky or cheating why just go about life thinking about that it’s not like I’m going out with my females friends one on one or it’s not like we talking everyday it’s a regular friendship

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Anonymous OP 22h

It’s really toxic thinking and is super revealing about herself. She genuinely can’t see men as anything other than sexual objects or potential partners. She dropped that friend bc it wasn’t a friend to her, it was a man she was keeping on hold. So she assumes you must see the opposite gender that way too, bc she’s incapable of thinking differently

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Anonymous #6 15h

Well that’s different than what I’m talking about in talking bout a genuine friendship both my homegirls got niggas

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Anonymous #7 13h

So what if you were already close friends with them? I don’t understand this whole once ur in a relationship you just have to cut off the opposite gender😂

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Anonymous OP 13h

I didn’t say you need to cut them off. It depends person to person so you have to actually talk to ur partner about what they’re comfortable with. If ur ok w ur partner calling other guys (if ur a guy) or hanging out 1on1 with other guys thats you, and their boundaries may be different. I’m in a serious relationship and I had close guy friends who I have a healthy distance with now out of respect for my bf (& they completely get it) bc I wouldn’t want my bf to be that close w any girls either

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Anonymous #7 13h

Your going further than what my original question was I asked was it healthy to not be comfortable with letting ur partner have friends of the opposite gender I didn’t specify anything about going out 1on1 or shit like that

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Anonymous OP 13h

Being friends with someone normally constitutes doing things like calling and hanging out which is why I mentioned that. Otherwise u r probably just acquainted lmao. But to answer it bluntly, not healthy if they force u to drop but is healthy if they ask for a respectful distance from them

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