We haven’t talked to each other in about 6 to 8 months when I sent an email saying how genuinely sorry I am about what I’ve done and I wanted to talk again because we were really good friends. Like we knew everything about each other and no matter how much time pass we could have fun together.

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I did something very similar and things haven’t been the same sense. Yes we’re still together but every situation is different. But I’ll say this, I believe if two people love each other, then they’ll truly be together

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A few years ago, I made the mistake of cheating on my partner. They found out about it around a year ago, and understandably, it caused a lot of damage. After that, we stopped talking for about 6–8 months. Eventually, I reached out through email to sincerely apologize and express that I wanted to take accountability for my actions and possibly rebuild what we had. Our relationship had always been deeply rooted in friendship.

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we knew each other extremely well, supported each other, and could always enjoy each other’s company no matter how much time had passed.

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We started talking again, but things became complicated. He wasn’t fully over what happened, which is completely understandable, and at the time, he was also involved in another relationship. Despite that, we continued communicating. I later sent him a message expressing how much he meant to me and how I truly recognized my mistakes. He responded with similar feelings, and we reconnected again.

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During spring break, we had a deeper conversation about everything our past, our concerns, and what moving forward might look like. We agreed to take things slowly and revisit the idea of a relationship when he transfers to my campus in the fall.

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However, after a few weeks, he brought up that what we were doing already felt like a relationship to him, it seemed that he wanted to talk about the idea of a relationship again. This led to a recurring issue that has caused us to fall out multiple times. The main problem is that I am still friends with the person I cheated on him with, who is part of a larger friend group connected to a hobby I’ve developed over time honestly a hobby that I’ve been doing ever since we started dating.

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Because of this, he gave me an ultimatum: if we are going to pursue a relationship again, I would need to stop being friends with that person and possibly distance myself from that friend group. Otherwise, we cannot be together.

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From my perspective now, I didn’t like being put in a position where I felt like I had to choose between him and my friend group. even though that’s how it ultimately felt to me, regardless of how he framed it.

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I fully understand that I made a serious mistake in the past, and I’ve been trying to take accountability and grow from it every time I’ve reached out to reconnect. At the same time, during the periods when we weren’t talking, I naturally became closer with that friend group, including the person I cheated with. When everything first came out, I ended that relationship immediately and have only been friends with him for about a year now.

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Because of that, it feels unfair to be put in a situation where I’m expected to cut off people who have become a consistent part of my life, especially after only a few weeks of us reconnecting and trying to rebuild something.

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I do understand his perspective and why he feels uncomfortable with that person being around, and I was willing to try to compromise. For example, I suggested creating more distance between myself and that person within the group or being more intentional about separating those parts of my life. However, he wasn’t open to that. Instead, what he wanted was for me to completely stop interacting with that entire friend group since that person is a part of it.

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That’s where things started to feel overwhelming and difficult for me, because it didn’t feel like a middle ground, it felt like an all-or-nothing choice. I didn’t want to feel like I was being manipulated into having to choose because I cheated.

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I am aware nothing can redeem a cheater, but I didn’t want to be forced into a relationship again especially not like this….

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End of story..for now

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