Ask Anything on Sidechat | Um my bf told me he doesn’t understand why I’m against porn just said I’m not secure.. Does porn not ruin the relationship and its connection? Or am I crazy for being against it? Idc about other people using it but for our relationship? Hell no

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Ask Anything 4w

Um my bf told me he doesn’t understand why I’m against porn just said I’m not secure.. Does porn not ruin the relationship and its connection? Or am I crazy for being against it? Idc about other people using it but for our relationship? Hell no

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Anonymous 4w

I don’t think either of you are crazy. You just have different opinions on a divisive topic. Personally I don’t mind if my partner watches porn but you’re valid I guess

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Anonymous 3w

porn ruins ur brain, relationship or not

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Anonymous 3w

Idc if they get off to strangers. Plus it also kinda gives me a break, like go rub one out bc i am tired. And then tell me about what the people did in the porn and we can try a realistic version of it. I used to not like my partner watching porn because i thought they wanted me to look like that. But then i evolved and realized if they don’t already make me feel like my body is their dream, porn or not, then I shouldn’t be with them anyways. Be with someone you trust loves you wholly 🖤

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Anonymous 3w

my friend is going though the same rn! she broke up with her boyfriend because he watched too much porn and had an addiction basically. she wasn’t ok with that, and it’s completely normal to feel that way. you just don’t want your partner to see n4ked people getting on it.

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Anonymous 3w

My being against porn has nothing to do with my romantic relationship, imo. I don't think porn is cheating, I'm just anti porn

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Anonymous 4w

Not crazy, I personally wouldn’t tolerate it

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Anonymous 3w

Porn is the most normalized addiction out there imo. It’s horrible for your brain chemistry in so many different ways. Fucks w your dopamine levels. It’s a rabbit hole that only gets deeper. I recommend watching YouTube videos of Dr John Delony where he talks to people with porn addictions, some are severe like spending thousands but some are just people more our age trying to improve themselves. He words it well why it’s a problem and the severity of it

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Anonymous 3w

Porn is evil. It is the gateway to people becoming sexual predators. I think all porn addiction leads to predatorily behavior.

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Anonymous 3w

it's perfectly fine if that's a boundary for you and he should be willing to at least hear you out. that said, plenty of people watch porn in relationships and are okay.

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Anonymous 3w

I don’t mind if my partner watches porn. It doesn’t affect the nature of our relationship or our sexual chemistry

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Anonymous 3w

Wow that’s bold, he clearly has an addiction and needs to quit cuz how do you have a whole ass gf and still do this shit.

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Anonymous 3w

Hi OP, the root problem is when the guy is ran on pleasure/addiction than virtue. Porn is in that and isn’t good for the woman overtime because no woman can match the fantasy the guy becomes addicted to. He will get ED due to porn rewiring the brain overtime. This is why a relationship should be based on virtue because pleasure is never enough and they turn into zombies because of their addiction.

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Anonymous 3w

You’re doing too much. He will never meet or see those women in real life and even if he does they won’t fuck him. Do you flip out if he watches a sex scene in a tv show? He probably gets turned on but it doesn’t matter because he’ll never have a chance to fuck them anyways. Even without porn he’ll likely jack off to someone else at some point anyways. A celebrity, maybe a random woman on social media. Honestly you sound controlling asf and that’s what’s going to push him away, not porn.

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Anonymous 3w

You could make your own videos for him. But you are crazy if you are letting that be an issue.

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Anonymous

#1 3w

I guess I ask why are you okay with your partner using it ? No shame I just want to know because I feel guilty for feeling angry about it the thought of him getting off to someone else makes me sick to my stomach but why is that?

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Anonymous

OP 3w

I will say I probably have a different perspective because I’m currently in an open relationship. I don’t think that makes my opinion invalid, I’m just acknowledging that I do have a lot less jealousy about that stuff than many people do at baseline. I have also been in monogamous relationships and I’m always fine with them watching porn.

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Anonymous

OP 3w

I don’t know, for me personally I am attracted to others when I’m in a relationship and I imagine they are too. To me it’s not important that they pretend they don’t feel attraction to others, it’s important that at the end of the day I’m the one she loves and wants to be with

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Anonymous

#1 3w

Well that part I get. Like it took me a while to understand that attractiveness is like the bottom of the scale and it’s impossible to find other people attractive. But I draw the line if you’re jerking your shit to them because I think it’s the thought that matters. Personally it turns me off if my partner is thinking abt fucking other people and gets off to other people fucking. Idk i am a very jealous person and it sucks bc it is consuming me atp

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Anonymous

OP 3w

Impossible to not find * sorry

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Anonymous

#5 3w

we have so many videos together and I always send things

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Anonymous

#5 3w

but how am I crazy for not wanting him to jerk off to other women ?

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Anonymous

OP 3w

I don’t think you are also there’s a pretty high chance some of those women are being exploited

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Anonymous

#6 3w

Im just mad I guess because he doesn’t understand why I feel a way, like he respects the boundary (as that’s what he tells me) and I should just be okay with that but for some reason it bothers me that he doesn’t get it

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Anonymous

OP 3w

Idk to me porn is like not real. It would be different if they were masturbating to a person they knew. But that’s just me your feelings are valid and some people it does just turn them off

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Anonymous

OP 3w

It doesn't make you a jealous person. Not wanting your partner to watch porn is completely normal

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Anonymous

OP 3w

does he not understand or does he just disagree? like I've heard people say that watching porn is cheating and I think that's pretty dumb but I would still not watch porn if my partner asked me not to

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Anonymous

#6 3w

I think a bit of both, it’s just weird bc we’ve been together for 2 years and we’ve had this talk before and he seemed to understand it and agree. Now he’s changed his mind? And also I don’t think it’s cheating either but definitely disrespectful and if he was doing it behind my back I’d break up w him

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Anonymous

OP 3w

probably wouldn't hurt to have a conversation about it and see exactly where he stands. you're very much not wrong for wanting to break up if he's doing it behind your back, that's an obvious violation of trust

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Anonymous

#12 3w

The overarching theme is always shame and displacing some sort of emotions for porn, whether it’s loneliness or lack of true purpose in life, etc etc

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Anonymous

OP 3w

They are not in front of him. If you are having sex daily and multiple times daily, then he might have an issue if he’s still jerking it. But most guys would be drained if you drain them like that.

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Anonymous

#6 3w

Same perspective here. Like personally porn (in a normal amount, with respect given to the fact that’s it’s all faked) would be fine, but i can see why people would say no, and I think the partner needs to respect that

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Anonymous

#13 3w

He told me he doesn’t care to watch it, I’m not controlling whatsoever. It is something that I’m personally against and we’ve talked about but I wanted to hear other peoples opinions. I don’t feel a way when there’s a sex scene. I used to and I get jealous but idc abt that shit. Porn ruins your brain

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Anonymous

OP 3w

watching porn is lowkey like being a cuck. tell him to grow up or go home.

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